tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-150066042024-03-06T20:48:08.832-08:00HUMMINGBIRDGARDENSometimes you get so busy you have a hard time choosing which flower to smell...The trick is to not allow things that are not essential to block out that which is important, so remember to stop and enjoy the flowers filled with the scent of lifeHummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-82200981819823824922010-12-23T06:51:00.000-08:002010-12-23T06:58:44.928-08:00Second Year Anniversary of Separation<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOalv70reaFQ7DphYwiYux8qNe4KOxzjpfhtw87grbNEFXJobfmqRfidOgLSHIPz1n6bKDqkEfzcmVNZmr4pA78N1QgxDJe2ywqgdUiD77IfrRFpbpjBpRVzr6eidJzdhjUtDdWg/s1600/For+All+Eternity.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOalv70reaFQ7DphYwiYux8qNe4KOxzjpfhtw87grbNEFXJobfmqRfidOgLSHIPz1n6bKDqkEfzcmVNZmr4pA78N1QgxDJe2ywqgdUiD77IfrRFpbpjBpRVzr6eidJzdhjUtDdWg/s320/For+All+Eternity.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5553892257805573666" border="0" /></a><br />I have not been blogging on this blog as much. Not that I don't care, just that I have been writing his stories on my genealogy blog for our grandchildren. My Hero was a special man. He is greatly missed and I have had a hard time this second year. I suppose it is sorting out emotions. There is definitely a big hole in my life. I am thankful for the knowledge that we will be together again, this is a great support, as well as our wonderful family that has held up my drooping arms and supported my sagging knees. I love them one and all.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-71234917795846438032010-05-18T07:57:00.001-07:002010-05-18T09:49:15.253-07:00A Very Important Date.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXvmhzAr1oM4r8CljP8MaY6eObY9_M-prxxTqWBA3jvh9N3jUYwr1DafUxFe1YISrgfC-ZCBXY4ZjV_F08MTlS1DfyjDKqy88DhkPEyc3vIUquCgnBvsQ1n_uhaeRLZEXt0Fvgw/s1600/ctrring2010.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 254px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXvmhzAr1oM4r8CljP8MaY6eObY9_M-prxxTqWBA3jvh9N3jUYwr1DafUxFe1YISrgfC-ZCBXY4ZjV_F08MTlS1DfyjDKqy88DhkPEyc3vIUquCgnBvsQ1n_uhaeRLZEXt0Fvgw/s320/ctrring2010.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472647851808137410" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Happy Sealing Day Family!<br />33 years ago your dad and I chose to be sealed in the Mesa Temple for all time and eternity.<br /></div><br />In our church, this is usually worn by the youth as a Choose The Right ring to remind them of choices they make affect the rest of their life. The Counselor to the Prophet of our church gave the thought to the members that it would be good for the older set to wear it as a reminder for "Current Temple Recommend". I wear it for a dual reminder, to remember the choices I make affect me eternally and thus my reuniting with the Hero when I leave this life. I also wear it to remind me to keep my temple recommend current. I wear this instead of a wedding ring.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-17532424592317062172010-05-01T14:08:00.000-07:002010-05-01T14:33:42.562-07:00Happy Birthday Sweetheart.<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.glitter-graphics.com/"><img src="http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/1338/1338807qecxd2teeu.gif" width="400" border="0" height="300" /></a><br /></div><a href="http://www.glitter-works.org/" target="_blank">glitter-graphics.com</a><br /><br />I knew today was his birthday. I had even wished his twin brother Happy Birthday. But, for some reason I was not prepared when I opened my page on Facebook and saw where my daughter had wished her daddy Happy Birthday. I admit it, I cried. Everyone is gone today and no one has called so I have the peace of crying openly without anyone having to console. I miss him, but I know that he is okay and I am okay too. I am not sure of what my full feelings are, I try to write them, but somehow there are no words to express my loss or pain. We were not perfect, but we were as one as you can get.<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPUR6GazKYg1NsT3Fib8GCKfnhPllRwXn8TiYdUdTHqV0czibNsBZqAhGMgon_F0VwutxeiH1cmblwPWpM6dNGlyCGdh42OjZL_SgQ92gTeXZ82kOQVHnmXyUg65-7WSD_N9hNXA/s1600/FrancesheldbyNedsmall.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 243px; height: 283px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPUR6GazKYg1NsT3Fib8GCKfnhPllRwXn8TiYdUdTHqV0czibNsBZqAhGMgon_F0VwutxeiH1cmblwPWpM6dNGlyCGdh42OjZL_SgQ92gTeXZ82kOQVHnmXyUg65-7WSD_N9hNXA/s320/FrancesheldbyNedsmall.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5466417290335054258" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br />Happy Birthday my Love, I pray that you can feel your families love still poured toward you.<br />I love you,<br />The HummerHummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-22729715898606805822010-04-10T23:51:00.000-07:002010-04-11T00:02:39.679-07:00My Dear Grandchildren<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBEFb2x6NBZ3To1Ad47Yj5iSSI09ZiARvf9_bECUdxVMRk4pkc70KMofdoj0-wy_geI_RI8R9ldi0NmchuXX5fSa-ASwbQWTiba7yTuOnhbrDg2cCCZq2XErx1iz7mUP-M8ugQA/s1600/Ned.jpg"> </a>My dear Grandchildren:<br /><br />I was pondering some things that I have observed. As I pondered these matters I became very desirous to share them with my grandchildren. However, many of my grandchildren are not yet born and their children are not born. How do I share with them? The idea came to me that I could write these things down, and ask my children to share these things with their children, who can share them with their children.<br /><br />The first item I wished to share with my grandchildren is <span style="text-decoration: underline;">: </span>that there are many in the world who promote the idea that we are always supposed to be happy. This is not just a silly idea, it is a dangerous one that leads ultimately to misery.<br /><div style="text-align: right;"><br /></div>Love<br /><br />Grandpa Ellsworth<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBEFb2x6NBZ3To1Ad47Yj5iSSI09ZiARvf9_bECUdxVMRk4pkc70KMofdoj0-wy_geI_RI8R9ldi0NmchuXX5fSa-ASwbQWTiba7yTuOnhbrDg2cCCZq2XErx1iz7mUP-M8ugQA/s1600/Ned.jpg"> </a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBEFb2x6NBZ3To1Ad47Yj5iSSI09ZiARvf9_bECUdxVMRk4pkc70KMofdoj0-wy_geI_RI8R9ldi0NmchuXX5fSa-ASwbQWTiba7yTuOnhbrDg2cCCZq2XErx1iz7mUP-M8ugQA/s1600/Ned.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhBEFb2x6NBZ3To1Ad47Yj5iSSI09ZiARvf9_bECUdxVMRk4pkc70KMofdoj0-wy_geI_RI8R9ldi0NmchuXX5fSa-ASwbQWTiba7yTuOnhbrDg2cCCZq2XErx1iz7mUP-M8ugQA/s320/Ned.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5458770770212659090" border="0" /></a>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-79868693512147520542010-03-01T22:34:00.000-08:002010-03-01T22:55:13.169-08:00Beginning With The End -The Journal<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21nqteS5OTA_VDHGRy6OOzUMvySUWvlyZZls6lMkmvyFaLq5Dt0bQbZmMyQevF41QsMw0wl4Mpwih6gHaW6vOBGwy_oxUum7IvI1V8uYf9g0aePfFTeKIXhm0rgy10F2H9WYOVA/s1600-h/nedwithboys2008Closeup.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 286px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21nqteS5OTA_VDHGRy6OOzUMvySUWvlyZZls6lMkmvyFaLq5Dt0bQbZmMyQevF41QsMw0wl4Mpwih6gHaW6vOBGwy_oxUum7IvI1V8uYf9g0aePfFTeKIXhm0rgy10F2H9WYOVA/s320/nedwithboys2008Closeup.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5443926379261231026" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Aug/ 2008<br /></div><br />A simple burial place is fine so long as my sweetie will be near by.<br />I would like for the following to speak at my funeral.<br />Bishop,<br />Warren Kirkby,<br />Monte Johnson,<br />My Home Teacher,<br />Anybody that wants to.<br />I want Linda and family, Gail, Nolen to be included as family.<br /><br />My biggest regret is that I have been so slow to repent. I fear I may be counted as slothful. I do love the Lord. I have no doubt in his mercy and desire to see us happy. My fear is that I have disappointed Him.<br /><br />I love my wife so much. I love her with the greatest intensity. I love my children and grandchildren. Even those that have failed the most have given me great joy by their soldiering on.<br /><br />My life has been hard but sweet. Mostly, it has been more humbling than hard.<br /><br />My blessing for all my family including adopted children is<br />"That the Lord will give them a very strong desire to be faithful and to resist weakness."<br /><br />Pray for me.<br />May we meet again and be united.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />(A post note: He wrote this just before he went into the hospital with gangrene, the journal was found a month after the funeral, in his illness he had gotten to where it was hard to think or concentrate, and thus forgot to tell me of his entry. The blessing was everything happened as he wished.)Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-22999061794433227842010-02-24T20:33:00.001-08:002010-02-24T20:45:24.038-08:00Intentions For This Year.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitkvHRj01gY8QZE_WoDjs8V0N30VlqiDg3XPdNEZobLR11ozAFX7-haUXVivz8pqKNw9r6seA2lvmEs-lKa2Z37rhSnuDFkNbD9rGN1wgTOgyYDRK-q-a2r_fv8jAUXdUrs14FxQ/s1600-h/Moustacheman1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitkvHRj01gY8QZE_WoDjs8V0N30VlqiDg3XPdNEZobLR11ozAFX7-haUXVivz8pqKNw9r6seA2lvmEs-lKa2Z37rhSnuDFkNbD9rGN1wgTOgyYDRK-q-a2r_fv8jAUXdUrs14FxQ/s320/Moustacheman1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5442034896755472930" border="0" /></a><br />The Hero loved his family and his Savior Jesus Christ. I have decided to put his testimonies of different aspects of his love for Christ on the blog as his lasting testimonies for his family and any others who care to read.<br />" August,2000: This is not a diary. It is a book of remembrance. It is for the purpose of calling myself and my children to a remembrance of the things the Lord has done for us."Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-12089861208638531972009-10-25T07:45:00.000-07:002009-10-25T08:00:07.880-07:00I RememberedI don't pay attention to the date much unless I am writing a check or something that has to be dated. Yesterday I was making a deposit. It was the 24th. I felt a loss then. It was our wedding anniversary. What a time it was. The Hero had been so intense on making it a wonderful event. We had family come all the way from Houston, including his grandmother who was a social event master. The night before I had to go for my fitting of my dress, my cousin made it in Oklahoma while I was at school in Texas. I was almost late getting back...right on the line. The Hero was getting worried. I shook all the way down the isle, don't ask me why. But when I arrived next to my Hero and he took my hand, I calmed down. I took the first step in my journey in life as his wife. He never failed to provide love, comfort, temporal needs, and spiritual needs. I will begin posting some of his letters and notes for the family to fill out his wishes.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-15399494510549840542009-09-06T08:02:00.001-07:002009-09-07T15:56:30.044-07:00Health Care<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQSjj2opwOc9XQ2jO2VybGGwed63AAmlJsagbR3PACjQgq6_O11QDq1XDc01M0BUD6DM7eMOhBxIVQ-laG9Zd2nr-x85tPOjhfaOFuu41pmfcS2XlvUk3uv4wn2lSxrJ0nAFoABA/s1600-h/IMG_0034.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQSjj2opwOc9XQ2jO2VybGGwed63AAmlJsagbR3PACjQgq6_O11QDq1XDc01M0BUD6DM7eMOhBxIVQ-laG9Zd2nr-x85tPOjhfaOFuu41pmfcS2XlvUk3uv4wn2lSxrJ0nAFoABA/s320/IMG_0034.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378371727803597186" border="0" /></a>I have been reading the news, the Internet news pages from England, and people's emails about the death panels and lack of care thus ending life early.<br />In writing this I do not want the reader to think I am bitter. It was what it was and others have had to endure more. We have seen life end so organs could be harvested. The medical profession is not the compassionate service profession it has been. I just want to make my statement on our medical profession as it is.<br />We did not have insurance because Ned could not afford the high risk insurance rates after his company mistakenly had used a company not licensed in the state of Texas. Then he had already had skin cancer in his ear and they considered him high risk. Thus when we went in for diagnosis, every medical doctor involved, said sorry, good luck and tried to pawn him off on the State hospital. The paper work did not move along fast. When he went to the emergency room in Galveston, a surgeon accepted his case because they needed to do a colostomy. They lied to him that they would reverse it. The radiation doctors took him then. An then the chemotherapy doctors on the recommendation of the radiation doctors and after a drug company said they would offer the drugs for the use of experiment, took him as a patient. The cancer continued to grow for another 10months after initial diagnosis. It was never advised that the colon cancer was not the initial cancer, we figured that out much later. The initial cancer was on the outside of the colon and that was what actually cause his death and his great pain as it destroyed his coccyx and started on his pelvic girdle.<br />This is a picture of him just 5 months before his death. He was hopeful, energetic, and the pain had reduced. A week later we went into the cancer clinic and they told him they were stopping all his treatments that none of them had worked. He was in shock. A Patient advocate then got him an appointment with the radiation oncologist to see if they would do more for him...the RO said on viewing the plates and tests that they had "read the results wrong" and recommended that they reenter Ned for treatments again.<br />They dragged their feet for weeks, then he became really ill and had to go in for gangrene in his pelvic/groin area from the radiation treatments 8 months before. [ I, as you know, had asked what happened to the tissue that the radiation kills. The answer had been that the body absorbs it. That is simply not true. The chemotherapy they follow up with kills the cells that are capable of that, and they know it. The end result is always, it comes out through the nearest exit. Internally usually the skin, but people don't recognize what it is. ] When he was in the hospital, they treated him with a clorox, baking soda combination they called a technical name until we were going home and the pharmacy gave me the formula so I could make my own. The chemotherapy made an appointment to see him in a week. A hurricane came in a week later and put the "state hospital" UTMB in Galveston out of commission. A few weeks later, in an private hospital emergency room, I found out the treatment hadn't been used for 40 years. We survived that, and were still able to function relatively normal. He kept pushing to get more treatment, they told him MD Anderson Hospital would take him since he had scheduled treatment at UTMB Galveston. Finally we heard from MD Anderson, visited them (this is 3 months after they had"mistakenly stopped his treatments") they said they would see him in two weeks. In the meantime, he developed great pain. He said, I have and infection I need to go in. We went into the emergency room, they held him there 24 hours after they knew what was wrong after a cat scan, but did not tell us the results, a doctor never came in and visited him only nurses. I did most of the care. When we got on the floor, it was another 24 hours before a doctor actually came in and saw him, this I have to note was because of a compassionate nurse who called and complained that a doctor still had not come. Ned was a hungry person, loved his food and ate every meal. His main concern was he wanted to go home as soon as the pain was under control. Again, I did most of his care. I slept in his room and did everything for him. Not tooting horns here, just explaining the level of care. <br />The doctor pulled me out and advised me to start funeral arrangements. I was shocked. They were " working on managing his pain" and horrendously raised his morphine dosage IV. I said as long as he was able to function I wasn't for "pulling the plug". I kept questioning this and they said it was normal to do for cancer patients. He began to have a hard time breathing which interfered with his eating. I had told them that it had been 3 days since his colostomy had worked, they said they would note it...Then in the evening, his breathing became almost chain-stokes type breathing, the doctor said was just a matter of time. I asked if anything could be done what was happening, then she told me that since he had come in he had fluid in his lungs and a infection...(that they were not addressing, because he was dying)...they could go in and drain the lung but he would have to be put on a breathing tube...I said well that was okay to medically treat a problem. So they finally took him into the Respiratory ICU to drain his lung. They decided to put him on a Cpac mask instead of entubation. The nurse, no doctor visited while I stayed, one only came into the waiting room to tell me I I could go back to be with him, told me that the amount of morphine they had had him on had shut down his respiratory system further complicating his breathing, they had drained 2 liters of fluid off his lung and started him on antibiotics. I told them his colostomy was not working, they said they would call the wound care. Two days later, and an unbelievable number of different drugs IV hanging, they moved him back to a room. He was uncognitive of his surroundings, the day, who people were, and I had to feed him. This is 5 days now, again, I complained that his colostomy still was not working. I called the patient advocate who happened to be someone in administration for the weekend, and oh my they ordered some stuff to try and get the colostomy to work. For almost 7 days, the doctors had ignored this very important challenge. I asked could his confusion be related to the number of antibiotics? No, said they, antibiotics don't cause that problem, (liars). I watched everything like a hawk, because I was really his only advocate. After 4 colostomy chocolate enemas, they got some really rock hard stuff, caused by the initial over morphine ( acknowledged by the caregivers), out and the colostomy began to work again. They said there wasn't anything they could do for him (now the only test that had been done aimed at the cancer was the initial cat scan in ER), taught me how to drain his lung with a denver catheter, and released him to a in house hospice. I jumped at the chance to get him away from the hospital so I could reclaim his brain. When I arrived at the hospice, they had sedated him more on the trip so he would be comfortable. I went home to get some clothes and bathe, about 30 minutes after I had arrived, I received a call saying that he had gotten up and tore out his catheter, and was upset because he couldn't find me. I went back, the next morning he had to go to the emergency room for the bleeding. The doctor never looked at him, they never looked to see if there was damage to the urethera, he was dying. They reinserted another catheter since he couldn't get up and go himself. The first night the nurse and I had a come to meeting. She was going to give him a sedative for sleep. Now he has not been able to stay awake, have cognitive thoughts, or eat. I advised her she was not giving the medication to him. She said it is to keep him comfortable ...hrumph!....they just want to keep them out! I told them I did not want him to be so heavily sedated he could not reason and choose what he wanted. Unbelievably, I was able to keep them at bay long enough for him to be able to focus long enough to tell them to not give him sleeping medication and <a href="http://www.rxlist.com/haldol-drug.htm">haldol</a> (sp) to keep him sedated. He said "I want to be able to think". That was in the beginning of November. They were amazed that from that moment he improved to where I was able to get them to let me take him home and their nurse could visit. By the way, other than changing the sheets and giving the medications, I did all his care here too, including the denver drain which they did not know how to do. <br />At home we had a close time. It was just for 6 weeks, but it was six weeks of conversations, visiting with men and women that he loved who came by to see him. The sad thing was I was never able to turn his ability to eat well back around from the time in MD Anderson. They started him on a decline I could not turn back around. He took the minimun pain medication to be able to talk with his family which he was able to tell every one of them he loved them. He planned he own funeral. He looked at me through his oxygen mask and said "I love you". All of which if we had not fought for would have been lost because the medical community wanted to sedate him to an earlier grave. He drew his last breath on Christmas Eve and went peacefully to his maker. <br />The decision to shorten his life was made by doctors who no longer care beyond their paycheck or earnings. It started with his initial diagnosis and ended with his hospice care where a doctor never visited him at home. I found out later that the UTMB hospital hated taking patients without insurance. It was their policy to do a minimum treatment and end it thus the stopping of the chemotherapy, when it was just beginning to work. The minimal medical treatment (interestingly a treatment that the nurses and doctors has to learn because it was not done any longer) for a life threatening infection, gangrene, and sending him home when it was not resolved. Myself being the only person who knew how to do the treatment once we left the hospital. MD Anderson had refused to treat him until the hurricane situation forced them into at least interviewing him. I regret ever going there. Don't seek medical help unless you have "good insurance". They may say they treat everyone, but the levels are definitely evident and if it is turned to government care, then how my Ned was treated will be for everyone and not everyone has an ex nurse wife to advocate for them or take the treatments beyond what the doctors have in mind which is shortening the life. The AMA is not your friend.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-50902218341888685192009-05-18T20:50:00.000-07:002009-07-28T17:05:23.060-07:00A Joyous Memory and Beginning for our Family<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuw20pf0iNYWVIWH-_Lmt0fjVeohX_oJd7GYy-W0EKPWEyFhcpBCPKS8XjYU3oavFWr2MyE4Q2HP4nzOQCP6FzzMDp3b3Uc9mDqXGOuXy6EyFOfG6QAihSo51Yj09vlCI2MhHaTg/s1600-h/Sealing+-+1978.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 262px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuw20pf0iNYWVIWH-_Lmt0fjVeohX_oJd7GYy-W0EKPWEyFhcpBCPKS8XjYU3oavFWr2MyE4Q2HP4nzOQCP6FzzMDp3b3Uc9mDqXGOuXy6EyFOfG6QAihSo51Yj09vlCI2MhHaTg/s320/Sealing+-+1978.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5337377583064806530" border="0" /></a>This is our 32nd anniversary of our family's sealing in the Mesa Temple. The young man on the right is the missionary that taught our family the lessons. He left before we were baptized, so we were thankful he was able to come for our sealing. The Hero, myself, our oldest daughter and second daughter went. Our oldest son was in the womb. I was 7months pregnant. Our entire family are grateful to the Hero in holding the principles of families, truth, and eternal principles dear to his heart, teaching them (albeit, lengthy at times) to his children and his grandchildren. He loved them all dearly enough to continue to strive to live in such a way that the promise would be held.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-61858935135959036062009-05-01T15:47:00.001-07:002009-07-28T17:05:53.243-07:00Happy Birthday Hero<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtOI2fC37nOVUM-vrMZDBUbjkjxJ9IvNU6i8Z3erNpujmSdBY7TD8HDtwpyEAFT526kroJF-RrjvA5hmpFVdluGiQPh02p3aOLVG7JTlc1mZx9G_KDmmcoKd8JcaWJ91MxUvle7Q/s1600-h/Ned6mos.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 259px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtOI2fC37nOVUM-vrMZDBUbjkjxJ9IvNU6i8Z3erNpujmSdBY7TD8HDtwpyEAFT526kroJF-RrjvA5hmpFVdluGiQPh02p3aOLVG7JTlc1mZx9G_KDmmcoKd8JcaWJ91MxUvle7Q/s320/Ned6mos.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330991332289317682" border="0" /></a>The Hero at 6months.<br />I am so thankful that the Hero was born. He blessed me with 6 wonderful children and gave me a faith that has seen be thru the pain of his being gone.<br />He loved us well and gave the family a great legacy.<br />I love you my hero.<br /></div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-11498818464765473652009-01-13T20:29:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:06:31.890-07:00I Have a New Blog<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTB9WdyxPeUtPPuQSSseXo3DtXBs3p326zz8APy45IL_GXI4ux8JCvOhdK5875w-AlrVt4Nyg_K8uavLS7J1umq-TZHnrLE1qBDq950P5tijASp3fn7vPJUbT8Y6S1t04vWs5Grg/s1600-h/bug&chair+013.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5291003228148632050" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 320px; height: 240px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTB9WdyxPeUtPPuQSSseXo3DtXBs3p326zz8APy45IL_GXI4ux8JCvOhdK5875w-AlrVt4Nyg_K8uavLS7J1umq-TZHnrLE1qBDq950P5tijASp3fn7vPJUbT8Y6S1t04vWs5Grg/s320/bug&chair+013.jpg" border="0" /></a>The Hero always had time for some fun or if a child needed to visit about anything he was there.<br />These were some giant armenian cucumbers he grew in our garden. He thought they were much too fun to just eat, so he became a Water Buffalo.<br /><div>I decided that this blog was a great memorial to my hero. I will not be adding much to it. I have started a new blog <a href="http://joyoustomorrows.blogspot.com/">http://joyoustomorrows.blogspot.com/</a> This will help me think my way through my new horizons. Visit me if you would like. I hope this site will help some who are facing some of the challenges that my hero did.</div><br /><div>Just know God is kind and merciful. Nothing happens by chance. We are all his children and he will care for us.</div><br /><div></div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-15809014797876497002008-12-28T01:55:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:08:04.549-07:00Gifts of LoveToday we laid my hero to rest. He was so sweet. I didn't know it, but he had left little gems of loving comments with special friends who shared them at his funeral today. It was a long hard day, but a joyous one that was uplifting to me and our family. We know the hero is in the arms of his Heavenly Father, and is rolling up his sleeves to work hard on the other side of the veil.<br />I hope that our posts have been a uplifting source to those who have come by to visit. The calls, letters, hand shakes, hugs, visits were, through out our ordeal, rays of sunshine that brightened our days.<br />May God bless you all as you have blessed us.<br />Thank you again,<br />the HummerHummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-22782850188696568652008-12-24T18:40:00.001-08:002009-07-28T17:09:08.490-07:00Endings are the Doors to New Beginnings<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDiFbs2COy3OuOzGYDDYDl50ir7QeAmuZV3xzDlkT3VZmTRDyM7DSrBNqDan8ZtI0-hgwtoyJCeN4TtlXS-xUkqJk-LyqHcT5DmCpUSPYKOAkUVCauKXbAEtA-aqvxAXusfBBYWg/s1600-h/Sunset.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5283552695735232722" style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 320px; height: 240px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDiFbs2COy3OuOzGYDDYDl50ir7QeAmuZV3xzDlkT3VZmTRDyM7DSrBNqDan8ZtI0-hgwtoyJCeN4TtlXS-xUkqJk-LyqHcT5DmCpUSPYKOAkUVCauKXbAEtA-aqvxAXusfBBYWg/s320/Sunset.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>My heart is heavy as I post this last post. The hero, after a long and valiant fight with colon cancer, passed on Tuesday the 23nd from this life to the next. Words I would use to describe his heart was kind, gentle, loving, uplifting, caring. He loved Heavenly Father, was thankful to Christ for the atonement. His was a very peaceful passing. Our oldest son and his wife were in attendance. While it was painful to know that the last breath was taken, the spirit told me it was for his benefit. He had gradually gotten weaker until he wasn't able to lift a spoon. He couldn't swallow. I had spent a day encouraging him to sip fluids to prevent him from having dehydration. I didn't want him to have severe cramping that goes with the dehydration. When he began to live in the world of angels more than this life, you could tell that it was harder and harder to come back to to this world to answer questions. My pain was that I could not hold him in my arms because every part of his body was extremely sensitive to touch. </div><div>God was good to us. We had 38 years of wonderful times and experiences together. Six children that have been awesome blessing to our lives. Then there was the 13 grandchildren that brightened the hero's days as he watched them grow, that brought smiles to his face even in the last two days of his life. His little granddaughter of 1 year would stand at his bedside and peer up to him looking for recoginition and both would smile at the other, if it happened. </div><div>I stand at the beginning of another phase of my life, as I accept the loss of my sweetheart. I do not dispair for I know that my Heavenly Father is mindful of my needs and will continue to hold me up as I step forth into my future.</div><div>Thank you for all your prayers and loving concern during the last year and a half, they were all greatly appreciated.</div><div></div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-76037193012881801752008-12-17T07:49:00.001-08:002008-12-17T08:10:59.623-08:00Have to Share My Funny<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdEEuGMnGRevRmSgyu7KNlwaljfKLNsbz0zCvSL9-cfu-MLsotkR3jNyHzrlAGsSxt0UKm6VEPH8jUhTN4u9ZtAh4hzKyvkMi2Xia6oqUCVe2lirfaFPEhaSBqRw17ZMuQ6VNQg/s1600-h/christmasdivider9.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280786946867842130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 47px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOdEEuGMnGRevRmSgyu7KNlwaljfKLNsbz0zCvSL9-cfu-MLsotkR3jNyHzrlAGsSxt0UKm6VEPH8jUhTN4u9ZtAh4hzKyvkMi2Xia6oqUCVe2lirfaFPEhaSBqRw17ZMuQ6VNQg/s320/christmasdivider9.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>If I had a Santa HO HO HO, I would play it with this.</p><p>I have to share with you my funny. I say my funny. because it was a funny thing I did. </p><p>On Sunday, I wanted to wish my oldest granddaughter a "Happy Birthday". She was turning 15 an almost age, so I wanted to let her know I thought it was important. </p><p>Well...I started calling both of her parents phones at 1pm well after church to talk with her. No answer. </p><p>I emailed. </p><p>I yahoo IM'd, told my granddaughter I would have text messaged her if I had her phone number . I text messaged her mom's phone. No answers. Finally, in a moments desperation, I left a message on my son-in-law's phone saying, 'If you look out your window, you will see a little old lady with a picket sign walking up and down in front of your house. The sign says "Unfair treatment of a grandmother when she can't call her granddaughter." ' Still no response.</p><p>About 2 hours later, I received a call from...my granddaughter, my red head. I was so excited. I began telling her about my delima. She laughed and said "Grandma, my birthday is not until Wednesday." LOL. I had three more days before I was late. I told her that in that case, she needed to tell her dad to disregard the message I left. We both had a laugh about that. It was just wonderful getting to talk with her. </p><p>I am a blessed woman. I have wonderful, loving, caring, and kind children and grandchildren. That includes the wonderful ones who married my children. </p>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-39330160842208308062008-12-17T07:30:00.000-08:002008-12-17T07:49:15.952-08:00Christmas Comes in a Car<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZCyn6G4zUHpdlncN6tTQgsoV9uuXfw1ftXnXZz51a7NR_CmHgRVtc_LVGzNvkGX2cCu-xUuDnNwM6AuVBNFmNGBE4ou9mRdzCV0gaNDBCYmG363hI3U0iXUqpBzxcVjfMOodfQ/s1600-h/christmascar.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280782040125129138" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 220px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 142px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtZCyn6G4zUHpdlncN6tTQgsoV9uuXfw1ftXnXZz51a7NR_CmHgRVtc_LVGzNvkGX2cCu-xUuDnNwM6AuVBNFmNGBE4ou9mRdzCV0gaNDBCYmG363hI3U0iXUqpBzxcVjfMOodfQ/s320/christmascar.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>This was our Monday Family Home Evening. Christmas in a car. Our youngest son went to a friends house for a Christmas party that we all usually go to. It was promising to be a quiet, possibly lonely evening. Our home and visiting teacher came by to drop off and pick up some things the hero needed. (They are wonderful people that serve with their whole hearts.) As they were preparing to leave a car drove up. We were baffled because no one had called and said they were coming. When you live at least 8 miles from civilization(although to those of you in the mountains that is not much, in the city minded folk that is a distance), most people call first to make sure you are going to be there or are able to take visitors. <span style="color:#ff0000;">In seconds, the house was filled with Christmas.</span> My sweet daughters had pooled together and had brought their families up. No easy feat, both live 2 hours away. The older boys made hot chocolate. Our girls had brought cinnamon rolls to go with it. The babies were busy giggling and seeking what they could get into. After a prayer, the family sang Christmas songs with the hero. He had the energy for a verse. Then he just leaned back and enjoyed all. Little Red's giggles brought a huge smile on his lips. I was gratified to see that. Miss Smiles melted his heart with her smile and thrown kisses. May my girls and their husbands be blessed for their efforts to bring joy to the hero. God has been good to us.</p><p> </p>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-45205364927836958052008-12-11T20:11:00.000-08:002008-12-17T08:21:37.079-08:00Feeling Our WayWhen we came home, no one thought the Hero would make it out of the hospice. Now that we are at home the nurses are constantly second guessing the Lord as to when the Hero's time has come. He is weak and the morphine really hurts him mentally...ie: depression. Our biggest problem has been the urine catheter. Most of the time we spend reading or watching up lifting videos. The Hero can not stand violence or hateful things, not even in the form of humor ie: "Home Alone". He loves hymns and prayer.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGJLWX_kw9CSbBjIdM6jxO-SSR7wtPsTX4I3ZQgsYceXxC_aUS2PbEsrWC14nfAFcFPKQWwRpwkMFNLwzZ1JuoEXH1OCfu10ylceYB8VUFVcF9eRjIagsCScQYFqhraVzCbsCiyA/s1600-h/wintersnow.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278756563299096770" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 115px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 87px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGJLWX_kw9CSbBjIdM6jxO-SSR7wtPsTX4I3ZQgsYceXxC_aUS2PbEsrWC14nfAFcFPKQWwRpwkMFNLwzZ1JuoEXH1OCfu10ylceYB8VUFVcF9eRjIagsCScQYFqhraVzCbsCiyA/s200/wintersnow.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />The last two days have been cold for here. We have to use electric heaters because of his oxygen. He did like it when I opened the door for him to see snow in Montgomery TX. Not a usual happening. Of course the snow was not like the picture, but the flakes were huge like the snowflakes up north. We were amused by the phone calls from our son and daughters. It is funny for years one can long for snow, then after living in it for a short time, the enjoyment dwindles with the knowledge of what comes with snow.<br /><br />The other morning I had been really tired from up and down all night. My oldest son called just to say "Hi, how are you?" It was an encouragement I needed. The hardest thing about cancer is the pain that takes away the ability of loved ones to hold or cuddle the person hurting. Since I am a huggy type person, you have to understand that my inner self is in great pain. It is not my desire to complain, it is merely my desire to express my pain to let some of it go. I know that one day, we will greet each other with wonderful hugs and kisses on the other side. I just miss them so very much with him right next to me. We exchange kisses and smiles as our manner of loving one another.<br /><br />Right now, the hope is that he will make it through the Christmas holidays, in order that the children can make it to see him and spend some time with him. I just don't know what the Lord has in mind. I do what I can. Don't mistake this post as one of discouragement, rather one of bewilderment. Between the nurses and the fatigue, it is hard to keep in tune with the spirit and understand what is happening.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-18112595906908513552008-11-28T16:47:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:11:05.086-07:00We Are Decking the Hall with Holly<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwdZNTHkKCRtPcvt62pFQ7MQeES0XQS13htbUylVAqb0JOtMXE1Pn0TzUy2VMAAZIIVbpgxODWm-gDfLuYsmL7FI38c2qs8nDeLeCWTG_bl41FdjVbvNWJnxAq1yhURJgcJ73jGA/s1600-h/fallleaves.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273883396821484882" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 115px; height: 87px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwdZNTHkKCRtPcvt62pFQ7MQeES0XQS13htbUylVAqb0JOtMXE1Pn0TzUy2VMAAZIIVbpgxODWm-gDfLuYsmL7FI38c2qs8nDeLeCWTG_bl41FdjVbvNWJnxAq1yhURJgcJ73jGA/s200/fallleaves.jpg" border="0" /></a> Thanksgiving was a wonderful blessing.<br /><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Surrounded by my children that could make it home and their children. My sweet Hero was <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">alternately</span> grateful for all the attention and overwhelmed. </div><div>He loved the fun of watching them play board games and watching the leaves falling from the large window in the living room where his bed is situated. </div><div>We had a traditional meal with the dressing being my one disaster this year. The turkey was so fat that the dressing was just swimming in the fat. We disposed of it and enjoyed my son-in-law's favorite mashed potatoes with the meal. Now it is the day after and we have all leaned back and just tried to </div><div>relax for the early part of the day until most have dispersed. My number 4 child </div><div>is still here and setting up Christmas decorations for us. She is a blessing too.</div><div>Christmas promises to be a special time for us. So far, Heavenly Father has been blessing my Hero with his strength <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLkTG23HTvtcPalo9bWgXpnZcrlQTbK3n-xUvpaBCoaTwNUHk0_b4gZdNkxZtbs7dwPukjk_-KB62RZm5JJ_hqHmt5lDG1k1_Tn2VG9xkUHvjnV8GKogzi4k526m36FLhSQwoQiw/s1600-h/img108.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5273880838306458082" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px; height: 194px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLkTG23HTvtcPalo9bWgXpnZcrlQTbK3n-xUvpaBCoaTwNUHk0_b4gZdNkxZtbs7dwPukjk_-KB62RZm5JJ_hqHmt5lDG1k1_Tn2VG9xkUHvjnV8GKogzi4k526m36FLhSQwoQiw/s200/img108.gif" border="0" /></a>increasing daily. Does this say the cancer is gone? No, but he is busy searching for things to do that are uplifting and good for others. I so love him. He is uplifting to me, even when he is sitting and thinking for the next thing for me to do. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">LOL</span> </div><div>We are having to work on what we thought might be bed sores beginning. I am <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">beginning</span> to think that maybe it is the same stuff as the gangrene he had on his groin. All that nasty stuff inside must have a way of getting out...if skin is the closest area...that is what it will be. Enough negative. We are excited about the upcoming holiday. God is in His heaven and He loves us all so much that he gave his only begotten Son. </div><div>Through Christ's atonement, we are afforded the ability to overcome.</div><div>I love Christmas so I will be enjoying posting this month to use my free clip art. </div><div></div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-9716163835382042852008-11-19T20:23:00.001-08:002009-07-28T17:12:34.273-07:00Some Things are Priceless<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAwARnAYPkihyphenhyphenKNeCGWWQF8pTL228uU5O12rbxQ7sSP1Ga_XsXnY9kvAkTGEsy1b1lHDiZUahT-saN1I8_VTeBkPK890lwxB7h3pRfqzwDo3XEiJb49KjWAUNLQbtMS_bWdmRL6A/s1600-h/sunnyrainbow.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5270590819228123538" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 115px; height: 96px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAwARnAYPkihyphenhyphenKNeCGWWQF8pTL228uU5O12rbxQ7sSP1Ga_XsXnY9kvAkTGEsy1b1lHDiZUahT-saN1I8_VTeBkPK890lwxB7h3pRfqzwDo3XEiJb49KjWAUNLQbtMS_bWdmRL6A/s200/sunnyrainbow.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div><br /><p>The Hero made the following comment as he hung up his phone from talking with a treasured old friend. With tears in his eyes he said, <span style="color: rgb(204, 153, 51);">"I can never be poor, when I have the wealth of such friends."</span></p><p>This is such a truth. </p><p>We are excited! We are going home! It is still under the supervision of hospice, but it will be just 2 or 3 visits a week. The rest of the time he can enjoy home. Blessings do hold our hopes up. </p><p>Tonight the Hero is exhausted. An old friend from college came by, a cousin, and three friends from church. The visits were wonderful and he laughed and joked and reminiscing of times past. Now that the excitement has diminished, he is resting quietly on his pillow.</p><p>I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that is mindful of his lowly servants needs. What joy to know, we will be in the gentle surroundings of our own home. Praise be to His name. </p><p>Love to all</p>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-41498001504768838242008-11-16T09:22:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:11:57.557-07:00More Things I Have Learned<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1dHitMTCdUv6zUVhPtkMdtR6Zzr9EPxggppOJSWgswKrJGky5uLSgwu01D1vqWEXgzjDYzaIItpGBctcRZkGS3ylC0bC_rdqBqjpcIZ4uv8pTwa8aUauRVImfBbEpjGBePQeWMw/s1600-h/Sunset.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5269307623064272210" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px; height: 150px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1dHitMTCdUv6zUVhPtkMdtR6Zzr9EPxggppOJSWgswKrJGky5uLSgwu01D1vqWEXgzjDYzaIItpGBctcRZkGS3ylC0bC_rdqBqjpcIZ4uv8pTwa8aUauRVImfBbEpjGBePQeWMw/s200/Sunset.jpg" border="0" /></a>This is a sunset. Sometimes during the storm, it looks so dark then the clouds start dispersing and you see a glorious sunset and know that there is still great beauty around.<br /><br /><p></p><br /><p> </p><p>That is how I feel today. We are at the hospice. Lovely people, but all still have the same mindset that the doctors at the hospital did. It is over just keep him sedated and he will just be fine. WELL, my hero just needed a break. Yesterday the family that was closest all came by and visited with him. By the end of the day, he was more alert, but still very weak. They finally started moving his pain medication back to where it was before we went into the hospital. I had been worrying about having a new doctor to start all over with. (The hospice doctor takes over the care and all other doctors disappear.) God steps in and wa la...the doctor comes in (and while he is not the only doctor, he is one of them that will see the Hero) and surprise of surprises, he was the doctor that inserted the chest tube in the Hero's pleura space to drain the fluid off his lungs at the hospital. He, after visiting with the Hero, increased the pain long acting medication back to what it was before hospitalization. </p><br /><p>That relaxed the hero so much that he fell asleep after being given the medication and slept from 9pm to 3 am. Now when you are in the room and want to sleep until 6am...not so cool...but when you are awaken by a wide awake time oriented and alert spouse that you have not been able to have a sane conversation with for 8 days...the sleep dissipates and you sit up and take notice. This is were we had a strong discussion with the night nurse. Her thought was just sedate him and it doesn't matter that he won't be able to think. I said 'no'...he wants to be able to make choices. The Hero after listening to the exchange, then told the nurse he needed pain relief, but did not want to be sedated. So she went to the doctor at 4am and asked for his pain medication to be completely put back to his home meds. Woo hoo...he now has a mind...they were giving him an anti-psychotic, and sleep medication. It pays to ask questions about what are you giving "me". </p><br /><p>As I was contemplating all that has happened, it came to me that going through these times have given us lessons in enduring to the end. Christ says "endure to the end that you may have eternal life." I thought "hmmm, if we just sedate ourselves with "whatever", then we miss the opportunity to learn how to endure." I have learned that endurance is done with a clear mind and accepting heart.</p><br /><p>Our children and the Hero too have frequently wondered why the blessings of healing when he goes through so much. It has sometimes had an appearance of Job. The Hero, even when his mind was clouded, found solace in trying to say a prayer. He remembered that prayers of gratitude to the Lord were important. Sometimes the prayers were a simple "Heavenly Father, please help me". I have learned that comfort permeates the person who has a prayer in their heart. There is great peace in him. Unless of course I leave and he didn't really realize that I had left, then it can be a challenge.</p><p>I must stop and pay attention to my hero. May the Lord be with me and thee. Hummer</p><p> </p><br /><p></p>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-34177084741338705982008-11-12T17:56:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:28:56.479-07:00Preparations Must be MadeJust letting everyone know what the oncologist said today. He said that the cancer is so extensive and the Hero is so weak that chemo and radiation is not an option. He was interested in Dad's hopes and said that keeping his hope alive was important. However, the decision to not do extra measures (such as CPR) if he had heart failure etc. was made. That is what the Hero wants, he never wanted to be on a machine. At this point, Dr. Patel ( The Hero has faith and trust in him and had asked him to continue on the case if he could.), has the goal to get him home. It may be via inhouse hospice...and kind of medical halfway house...then home on hospice. The Hero was asking yesterday to go home. It has been determined that since he has a damaged liver, that the medication is not being metabolized as it should and that is why he is so sedated. So hmmm... hope is that we can discontinue the Haldol a strong antipsycotic drug that was given to aid him in the confusion experienced after ICU. Prayers are in order. All is in Heavenly Father's hands, I am at peace with whatever He has in mind. I will do all I can and strive to keep The Hero's hope alive until he is called home to Heavenly Father. I am writing, because I love all of you and my sinuses can't handle the tears I experience talking about this. The Hero is my special friend, we have had a wonderful life of 38 years together, 7 marvelous children and 13 awesome grandchildren. The years have been filled with fun, challenges, laughter, and love.<br />I don't like facing this...but I can do it and Heavenly Father is with me always.Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-43939311203796851022008-11-06T13:41:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:14:19.415-07:00Gratitude<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkMd3oHXZ7G1fFB6lo_oTaFlVoT1dz8vze-BQ9D3KIzNM53jjUoQgBoAvzcXjwtpazJO2UKDhrvtcemIuYUGyY8dLfx73CQ8oqzdqKjjIpxCYm683IrvWt6ks7bxYWvfLWCAcxzA/s1600-h/thanksgiving.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265664607803087506" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 125px; height: 81px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkMd3oHXZ7G1fFB6lo_oTaFlVoT1dz8vze-BQ9D3KIzNM53jjUoQgBoAvzcXjwtpazJO2UKDhrvtcemIuYUGyY8dLfx73CQ8oqzdqKjjIpxCYm683IrvWt6ks7bxYWvfLWCAcxzA/s200/thanksgiving.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br /><br /></div><div>Fall, especially November, is a time for expressing our gratitude to Heavenly Father for the bounteous blessings that he has given us through out the year. For our fore- fathers, it was for the crops and actually living for another year. It is not so with us, there are too many things that distract us from properly expressing that gratitude. Many have big family dinners, then mom or grandmother fall exhaustively into a chair afterwards. Others consider it a great day to shop or go play on the lake etc. Considering the size of our countries population, only a few take the time to reflect and meditate on the blessing they have received. ....Off my soap box.</div><div>I want everyone who reads this to know, I know that there is a loving Heavenly Father who listens to and answers our prayers. I know that He is mindful of our every need. Sometimes, it is hard to distinguish between wants and needs. I am thankful for a righteous man who has been a good steward over his church duties, family duties, and as a husband. I am very grateful to my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with special time and love with my hero. </div><div>Today, we have been told that there is excessive fluid in the hero's left lung. They will draw off the fluid tomorrow. And that should allow the lung to re inflate. I am grateful for the blessing that the fluid can be drawn off. I pray for the hero's safety and the arms of Christ to encircle him in his time of need.</div><div>I would also like to express my love and gratitude for all of those that have prayed for the hero and put his name on prayer rolls and have extended helping arms and hands. I love all of you. It is uplifting to know angels are here with me. God bless you all.</div><div>The Hummer</div><div></div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-27339115347414272672008-11-05T22:56:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:31:30.147-07:00Infections Reveal Themselves<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOJ7LamYpZanxXgEmU7v1-HDdKVBOVH3tF2gz8hyphenhyphenGNHNQu1GgQol4q3tF7fO05-d-AKWIX2vvi2lRR7o0KmzaXufTIk7zyvInX8k4s0pLzpIJTB5cptNdMah3P5UgP1yClcKN9XA/s1600-h/pot+of+gold.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265435357058351858" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 150px; height: 98px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOJ7LamYpZanxXgEmU7v1-HDdKVBOVH3tF2gz8hyphenhyphenGNHNQu1GgQol4q3tF7fO05-d-AKWIX2vvi2lRR7o0KmzaXufTIk7zyvInX8k4s0pLzpIJTB5cptNdMah3P5UgP1yClcKN9XA/s200/pot+of+gold.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Like a rainbow revealing a pot of gold, the hero's temperature has revealed two infections going on.<br /><div>The urine test came back that he had a bladder infection. That is not unusual for someone with an indwelling catheter. (They have not learned as I have to listen to the hero because he lives close to the spirit and many times has told me things which were true but not things I wanted to accept because I did not see the evidence...which later presented itself.)The bladder infection still did not answer for me why the hero was experiencing shortness of breath. Today one of the several disciples of doctors ordered a x-ray done. We waited to find out the results.</div><div>At 3 pm they decided to change his morphine to Fentayl. A very strong opioid. First he was given Lyrica. A new potentiating anti-inflamatory drug for the Fentayl. Then they started the Fentayl. Everything seemed to be going fine until about 8pm, when they were doing his wound care. (Which, by-the-way has closed and he has beautiful new skin. An indication that his immune system must be working.) All of a sudden he was unable to get his air, not just shortness of breath, rather difficultly breathing and his oxygen level fell below normal level and the O2 did not relieve it, and he became very distressed. His blood pressure went up to 190/92. They began asking if he was on blood pressure medication. NOT!. I looked up Fentayl. Important side effect...difficulty breathing.... The nurse waited 30 min rechecked his blood pressure. Still high. So she called the doctor on call. The hero has told her he does not want to continue with the Fentayl. The doctor came in and said well it could be the pneumonia that was causing the shortness of breath. The hero and I were surprised. We said, "where did the pneumonia come from?" She said the doctors apparently had not seen the x-ray result and that the radiologist has summarized the report in that it appeared that he had pneumonia behind the cancer growth in the lung. The hero said that was all well and good but the onset of the breathing was so sudden that it was not likely to be from pneumonia as that would have been building slow growing shortness of breath. He felt it was the medication. She said okay that she was going to order the morphine restarted stop the other and proceed to treat him for pneumonia. He now has an O2 mask on; they have started breathing treatments. He has calmed down, but he has dark circles under his eyes and is tired. They have also started 2 new antibiotics. I sit here working on the blog keeping and eye on him. God is good. I am so thankful for such a wonderful hero and it wrenches my heart to see him suffer. He was musing that he had gone through the gangrene and yet the Lord had spared him...for what to go through this excruciating pain? I reminded him that he still has a work to do.</div><div>He is working hard to overcome. Prayers are our support under our dragging arms. </div><div>Will update as things break through. : )</div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-61600950765537361082008-11-05T22:19:00.000-08:002009-07-28T17:16:14.227-07:00Confusion<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67Be9phRjQM8_yNKhzNR006eqFySOf0sDO2ezohSngWmCxAFvYvtrSLAlEM3wuyLQe_TEy-O8_9NJsxfpoOwuVH1XhuuHm-GhlUVUxL4MuvpwykwwxoNGqU0j_UHX7MyKz6kiGg/s1600-h/confusion.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265430579706029394" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px; height: 155px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67Be9phRjQM8_yNKhzNR006eqFySOf0sDO2ezohSngWmCxAFvYvtrSLAlEM3wuyLQe_TEy-O8_9NJsxfpoOwuVH1XhuuHm-GhlUVUxL4MuvpwykwwxoNGqU0j_UHX7MyKz6kiGg/s200/confusion.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>This is my own paintart picture I entitled "Confusion"<br /><div></div><br /><div> </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Well,<br />Monday was an up and down day. The hero was first told, that they were changing his pain medication to hydromorphone....Dalaudid. We were not familiar with the name hydromorphone, so we didn't realize it was dalaudid until the nurse came in to change the drip. Even under the influence of the heavy morphine, a flag went up and he wouldn't let them give it to him until I got back from moving the car. ( I stupidly had put his phone in my purse...duh) The Spirit works! Dalaudid makes him totaly zoned out to where he gets depressed and can't even remember what day it is etc.<br />Next the nurse relayed that they were going to do a pelvic bloc at 1 pm. We had been told they would come by and discuss it with us. 30 min later they came back and said no we will do it tomorrow. 2 hours later the internal systems doctor came by and said..."They will not do the nerve bloc because the cancer is too near to the area they need to work in." That was a blow to the hero because he had not been told that there would be a time limit on obtaining the bloc. 30min after that, the Hero had a 101 fever. Now they have done all sorts of cultures. We thought that may be it was the constipation from the high doses of morphine. A doctor at UTMB had figured that out last Jan when they couldn't find a reason for his 102 temps. Whatever, he has felt like there was an infection going on so maybe...it could be your prayers for his welfare. The surgeons said they would not do surgery on him. The Internal Medicine team said they were just interested in his chronic pain control. If anyone will do anything, it will have to be the oncologist. That would be the doctor that he had at intake. They upped his dose of morphine again, so he is not really alert and drifts off. He can wake up to eat. etc. Tomorrow will be another day.<br />Stay tuned to the latest saga in the life of "The Hero"<br />Love ya all<br />MOMe</div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-20463151172066781542008-10-30T20:31:00.000-07:002009-07-28T17:16:55.355-07:00Happy BirthdaysHow could I have forgotten!!!!<br /><div>My son in law just had his birthday on Wednesday. We will have cake this weekend when they come up. (can't find a picture will do later)</div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJ_0w7JTbuy18N0TujeTBMAebQBrmf_quyXfEAxCcy_PMj2CLFSB3B-ExPegZOVBLxKYpLEMNLq_gC_HVD26jduAO-pj6BUvvVZP85BLoJpZdyOW4_kI9NM3JlryyyEUoQZv_VQ/s1600-h/022307800065+%282%29.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263156629973566946" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px; height: 143px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaJ_0w7JTbuy18N0TujeTBMAebQBrmf_quyXfEAxCcy_PMj2CLFSB3B-ExPegZOVBLxKYpLEMNLq_gC_HVD26jduAO-pj6BUvvVZP85BLoJpZdyOW4_kI9NM3JlryyyEUoQZv_VQ/s200/022307800065+%282%29.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>My second daughter had her birthday today. She will not have cake as she is fighting a systemic yeast infection...so her sweet husband said..."where shall we go shopping." </div><br /><div>If my reminders are not working....I do forget where I am as well as what is going on. </div><br /><div>Love them all!!!!!</div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15006604.post-37157382905619451572008-10-30T19:53:00.001-07:002009-07-28T17:32:57.741-07:00The Journey to MD Anderson clinicsThe journey to get to the clinic was like a hike to a cabin in the woods.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7HOEmd6cXrNvZH_Ww6LNhKQZuvMgGtQlvCYz63e7WfQv8BP5Yc-KS0WZx9Gl2sqw5hhtFLySCBOO1-0gFFTEsfNYOVqdSsJWZHYFv878IoFrdrm1ldgK2aXKNiLC02KlTs6cSQw/s1600-h/cabin+in+the+mountains.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5263146100256741922" style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px; height: 134px;" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7HOEmd6cXrNvZH_Ww6LNhKQZuvMgGtQlvCYz63e7WfQv8BP5Yc-KS0WZx9Gl2sqw5hhtFLySCBOO1-0gFFTEsfNYOVqdSsJWZHYFv878IoFrdrm1ldgK2aXKNiLC02KlTs6cSQw/s200/cabin+in+the+mountains.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrEma0VEkjOMNpRUEFCmg7J49jj5uzoQIQLjPNZpOH3Hj3G_QjVry23_BTdrek15OZboOhoRfPfEJMuFqvYuKI9aKlMnXOzEjdT3Uy-rCdM7aXyk_pHqAf2-UZKtzjUqUNwDT6qg/s1600-h/Blue+hills.jpg"></a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitTHZzp7LOKGo53R0iaDWZM6m8leZdGY-T8rsSyjhzicag2SB1LXn1ERyMp8l20VABoEUQiWEo3_vOSlyfUO-clUwasIfOiMGWegBTfbHfBZDBgwphjHT73X6gJVQaPbi5dTnrxw/s1600-h/wintersnow.jpg"></a><br /><div><br /></div><br /><div>We maneuvered our way through the maize of the traffic and turns from downtown Houston to Holcombe Blvd next to M D Anderson Hospital. There, they told us to use the valet parking. We parked....went in, there they routed us to the skywalk (remember the hero can barely stand for long now let alone walk long distances.). That was up two floors. At the skywalk, they did have a golf cart (club cart) that the hero was able to lean on to ride over to the Mozy Bldg. I walked, as there wasn't anymore room, to take his walker over. WALKED...the equivalent of 4 blocks!. The building was 4 blocks away! I found out we could have parked next to the building. Ask me if my sore ankle was tired. We arrived with the blessing of an MD Anderson employee who pushed the hero up in a wheelchair from the skywalk to elevators U to go to the 8th floor to his appointed clinic (remember I still had to push his walker). Surprisingly, we made it and we were only 5 min. late. I really was surprised. We filled out his papers. This was at 11:15am. Then proceeded to picnic...I had brought his lunch...he ate well...no nausea this time. We found a puzzle they had on a coffee table and settled the hero down on the couch and I focused on figuring out the puzzle. Finally at 2:00 pm, the hero said, "can you see what is happening". So much for thinking they would be on top of things. I went to the desk, and asked. She looked surprised...and said who is the patient? I told her...she was like "oh darn...we goofed" all over her face. She said let me talk with the in taker. We were in in 10 minutes. From that time on, it went well. He was given a patient number. I have to send back more papers, like proof of citizenship, residency in the US etc... The doctor was a full doctor not a resident with faculty. He was very astute, asked questions, took notes, paid attention, and really very nice. I have a habit of calling these young doctors "the little doctor" even if they are 6 ft tall. He caught the references and laughed and said he knows what he will be called now. </div><br /><div>The plan at present is to reevaluate what all has happened since the last treatments. That means new labs, c-scan, obtaining records, etc., once those are in hand, then he will decide which direction to go. It will take a little while, but that will let the hero's wound to finish healing. We are 3/4ths there now. Some chemotherapy treatments are not an option any longer since he developed gangrene before. No matter, the hero is encouraged that someone is listening to his needs, and that is probably worth more than treatments right now. He had lost down to 155lbs. (a 10lb drop) since the gangrene infection. </div><div>The picture I used is from classroom clip art. I have hiked to cabins up in the mountains just like that, when I was younger, of course. Love the feeling of hmmmm not aloneness, but calmness, and peacefulness that comes from separation from crowds. </div><div>The next step in our journey has begun. Pray for us. We pray for all.<br /><br /></div><br /><div></div>Hummerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07844090740277767675noreply@blogger.com0