Second Year Anniversary of Separation

I have not been blogging on this blog as much. Not that I don't care, just that I have been writing his stories on my genealogy blog for our grandchildren. My Hero was a special man. He is greatly missed and I have had a hard time this second year. I suppose it is sorting out emotions. There is definitely a big hole in my life. I am thankful for the knowledge that we will be together again, this is a great support, as well as our wonderful family that has held up my drooping arms and supported my sagging knees. I love them one and all.

A Very Important Date.

Happy Sealing Day Family!
33 years ago your dad and I chose to be sealed in the Mesa Temple for all time and eternity.

In our church, this is usually worn by the youth as a Choose The Right ring to remind them of choices they make affect the rest of their life. The Counselor to the Prophet of our church gave the thought to the members that it would be good for the older set to wear it as a reminder for "Current Temple Recommend". I wear it for a dual reminder, to remember the choices I make affect me eternally and thus my reuniting with the Hero when I leave this life. I also wear it to remind me to keep my temple recommend current. I wear this instead of a wedding ring.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

glitter-graphics.com

I knew today was his birthday. I had even wished his twin brother Happy Birthday. But, for some reason I was not prepared when I opened my page on Facebook and saw where my daughter had wished her daddy Happy Birthday. I admit it, I cried. Everyone is gone today and no one has called so I have the peace of crying openly without anyone having to console. I miss him, but I know that he is okay and I am okay too. I am not sure of what my full feelings are, I try to write them, but somehow there are no words to express my loss or pain. We were not perfect, but we were as one as you can get.

Happy Birthday my Love, I pray that you can feel your families love still poured toward you.
I love you,
The Hummer

My Dear Grandchildren

My dear Grandchildren:

I was pondering some things that I have observed. As I pondered these matters I became very desirous to share them with my grandchildren. However, many of my grandchildren are not yet born and their children are not born. How do I share with them? The idea came to me that I could write these things down, and ask my children to share these things with their children, who can share them with their children.

The first item I wished to share with my grandchildren is : that there are many in the world who promote the idea that we are always supposed to be happy. This is not just a silly idea, it is a dangerous one that leads ultimately to misery.

Love

Grandpa Ellsworth

Beginning With The End -The Journal

Aug/ 2008

A simple burial place is fine so long as my sweetie will be near by.
I would like for the following to speak at my funeral.
Bishop,
Warren Kirkby,
Monte Johnson,
My Home Teacher,
Anybody that wants to.
I want Linda and family, Gail, Nolen to be included as family.

My biggest regret is that I have been so slow to repent. I fear I may be counted as slothful. I do love the Lord. I have no doubt in his mercy and desire to see us happy. My fear is that I have disappointed Him.

I love my wife so much. I love her with the greatest intensity. I love my children and grandchildren. Even those that have failed the most have given me great joy by their soldiering on.

My life has been hard but sweet. Mostly, it has been more humbling than hard.

My blessing for all my family including adopted children is
"That the Lord will give them a very strong desire to be faithful and to resist weakness."

Pray for me.
May we meet again and be united.

(A post note: He wrote this just before he went into the hospital with gangrene, the journal was found a month after the funeral, in his illness he had gotten to where it was hard to think or concentrate, and thus forgot to tell me of his entry. The blessing was everything happened as he wished.)

Intentions For This Year.

The Hero loved his family and his Savior Jesus Christ. I have decided to put his testimonies of different aspects of his love for Christ on the blog as his lasting testimonies for his family and any others who care to read.
" August,2000: This is not a diary. It is a book of remembrance. It is for the purpose of calling myself and my children to a remembrance of the things the Lord has done for us."

I Remembered

I don't pay attention to the date much unless I am writing a check or something that has to be dated. Yesterday I was making a deposit. It was the 24th. I felt a loss then. It was our wedding anniversary. What a time it was. The Hero had been so intense on making it a wonderful event. We had family come all the way from Houston, including his grandmother who was a social event master. The night before I had to go for my fitting of my dress, my cousin made it in Oklahoma while I was at school in Texas. I was almost late getting back...right on the line. The Hero was getting worried. I shook all the way down the isle, don't ask me why. But when I arrived next to my Hero and he took my hand, I calmed down. I took the first step in my journey in life as his wife. He never failed to provide love, comfort, temporal needs, and spiritual needs. I will begin posting some of his letters and notes for the family to fill out his wishes.