Showing posts with label False Hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label False Hope. Show all posts

Thursday, October 30, 2008

The Journey to MD Anderson clinics

The journey to get to the clinic was like a hike to a cabin in the woods.









We maneuvered our way through the maize of the traffic and turns from downtown Houston to Holcombe Blvd next to M D Anderson Hospital. There, they told us to use the valet parking. We parked....went in, there they routed us to the skywalk (remember the hero can barely stand for long now let alone walk long distances.). That was up two floors. At the skywalk, they did have a golf cart (club cart) that the hero was able to lean on to ride over to the Mozy Bldg. I walked, as there wasn't anymore room, to take his walker over. WALKED...the equivalent of 4 blocks!. The building was 4 blocks away! I found out we could have parked next to the building. Ask me if my sore ankle was tired. We arrived with the blessing of an MD Anderson employee who pushed the hero up in a wheelchair from the skywalk to elevators U to go to the 8th floor to his appointed clinic (remember I still had to push his walker). Surprisingly, we made it and we were only 5 min. late. I really was surprised. We filled out his papers. This was at 11:15am. Then proceeded to picnic...I had brought his lunch...he ate well...no nausea this time. We found a puzzle they had on a coffee table and settled the hero down on the couch and I focused on figuring out the puzzle. Finally at 2:00 pm, the hero said, "can you see what is happening". So much for thinking they would be on top of things. I went to the desk, and asked. She looked surprised...and said who is the patient? I told her...she was like "oh darn...we goofed" all over her face. She said let me talk with the in taker. We were in in 10 minutes. From that time on, it went well. He was given a patient number. I have to send back more papers, like proof of citizenship, residency in the US etc... The doctor was a full doctor not a resident with faculty. He was very astute, asked questions, took notes, paid attention, and really very nice. I have a habit of calling these young doctors "the little doctor" even if they are 6 ft tall. He caught the references and laughed and said he knows what he will be called now.

The plan at present is to reevaluate what all has happened since the last treatments. That means new labs, c-scan, obtaining records, etc., once those are in hand, then he will decide which direction to go. It will take a little while, but that will let the hero's wound to finish healing. We are 3/4ths there now. Some chemotherapy treatments are not an option any longer since he developed gangrene before. No matter, the hero is encouraged that someone is listening to his needs, and that is probably worth more than treatments right now. He had lost down to 155lbs. (a 10lb drop) since the gangrene infection.
The picture I used is from classroom clip art. I have hiked to cabins up in the mountains just like that, when I was younger, of course. Love the feeling of hmmmm not aloneness, but calmness, and peacefulness that comes from separation from crowds.
The next step in our journey has begun. Pray for us. We pray for all.


Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Chemotherapy has begun


This group is the goal. The hero has so missed all these sweet faces including red beard's. The hope is he will get the strength he needs to be able to travel the 1000 plus miles to see them.
I can see that life as we knew it, is on course for change. As the chemo drugs began to infuse into the hero's veins, his face began to flush, his nose turned bright red and cold. One of the main drugs is in the class of mustard drugs classified as biochemical warfare threats. Thank goodness for the blessings of the Lord. If it weren't for faith, there just wouldn't be any vision of a horizon.

The sisters at the ward were so kind as to make him a blanket to cheer and warm him. On this scary day, he was encompassed by that lovingly done blanket. I will post a picture of him with it after I down load it to the computer. I think the hardest thing to fight is the medications. He has great amounts of pain, because the tumor is pressing on his coccyx. Sitting is out. Lying down is side only. Standing is tiring and painful. As a result the doctors keep pushing to take larger amounts of Morphine. It seems that the goal is just to numb the whole patient....then he is happy. NOT. The larger amounts of Morphine causes depression, then they want to give you antidepressants. The answer is always another drug. The pain management physician (she is an angel) has said that she will be board certified for acupuncture in the coming week. That is the hero's goal: to switch from Morphine to acupuncture. She also gave him a special blanket that reflects back your own body heat to help him through the cold challenges of the chemo. It is hard hearing him have obvious nightmares when he dozes off. I just want to hold him closely and make it go away, but of course that is not possible. I do hold him close and whisper sweet nothings in his ear to help him know he is special each morning. It is hard for him to handle my exuberance in the mornings. It has become harder to make him smile. I know he tries, but he has said that he feels so numb from the morphine. The difficultly of focusing in on reading scriptures, praying and reaching out to the Lord really bothers him. I hope he reaches his goal so he can fight better. They wonder why the treatments don't work...well, the patient can't focus well enough to fight for wellness.

I must stop for now. Thanks for listening.