The Spice in My Life

Just as each of the herbs on my herb table has its own wonderful characteristic, so it is the same with each of my six children and those who have become close enough to be counted among my children. The enjoyable thing about herbs and spices is that when you mix them the flavor is greatly enhanced.

As you can tell, I love all my children and the joy they have brought into my life has been immeasurable. I am greatful for the blessing of being a mother and being in partnership with my husband and Heavenly Father to raise them to the point of right choices on their own. There may be a better way to say it, but maybe later. Happy Mother's Day!

Its All Good

Spring has brought many new experiences and some old ones too.

As is always the case, at the end of a semester, grades are posted. WELL...I have managed to hold my B average for my Master's. My hero was excited because he had spent hours drilling me on my botanical names of my plant Id exams. He is so special.

He started his 5th Chemotherapy session today. So far so good. We came back to the hotel very tired, because it took from 7:30am to 3:30pm. (Forgot, since we are 3 hours from home, they let us stay in a hotel for the three days of treatment for a large reduction). Tomorrow, we will go walking outside to give him some natural Vit D. His weight has held it's own, no losses for now. When we get home we will update the blog.

High Five and Yeah!

The new doctor brought in the lab values for the cancer marker today and showed us how they had followed normal fluctuations the went down. The reading the day we put off chemo for two weeks was 58. Down from 110 which, as was predicted from experience of the doctors, had risen to 258 then went back to 110 now to 58. We feel good. Of course normal is <2.5, so we have a ways to go, but we are excited that it is going down.
We were saddened by the fact the faculty doctor we had is moving away to another hospital. She was awesome. As a matter of fact, we will have totally new staff beginning in June. The Lord has something in mind.
I am extremely excited about my garden...I did tell you that we put in 2 4X40ft raised beds didn't I? Actually it was not us but a very special friend from church who brought over three of his workers and built and filled the beds. This weekend we put in med size tomatoes, pear tomatoes, salsa tomatoes, eggplants, squash (1), and cucumbers (2). I planted some lettuce and carrots. Then we put in 18 bell pepper plants 6 bunches of onions (bunching onions) and one Sweet Basil and one Pesto Basil plant. Next week, we plan to put in some more squash and cucumbers as well as putting in some cantaloupe and watermelon seeds. All of the plants/seeds are heirloom seeds. We plan on saving some of the seeds this year for next year. Will post pictures next time.

Back Home Again

Living in the country has its blessings. After being in the city and supressed by the hospital for 5 days, just being among the trees and wildflowers brings a feeling of peace. My poor hero, as he was dressing to leave today said, "I don't know what it is, everytime I leave this hospital I feel like I am breaking out of prison." Now, it is not because of the care or food or medical care, but it is because of lack of nature and ability to get outside and enjoy the sun and air.
Our stay entailed receiving 2 units of blood and a large amount of IV iron. There was a brief moment in time that he actually got to sit flat on his bottom and eat his dinner. This was about 8 hours after he had the large amount of bleeding. He didn't have any pain, which was so wonderful after 1 year of intense pain. Unfortunately, it did not last. The ride home was painful.
He was ready to lie down and rest when we arrived.
I have enjoyed sitting here and visiting with my son who just finished running 6 miles in an hour for his Duty to God Award. He will be 19 in 5 days. Next will be spiritual preparation. There has not been enough time to relax and listen lately.
The Hero will be (oops) have his birthday in 2 days. Hmmm. What kind of celebration will I have. At the end of the month, our oldest son will come home with his wife and we will all go to Indiana Jones Movie.

One Step Forward Two Steps Back

We were so excited about the decrease in the cancer markers, that we forgot what the side effects might be. At 4:30am, I was awakened by Ned saying "I'm bleeding!" He had gotten up to go to the bathroom when the blood started. We hoped it would stop but after 2 hours we decided that we had better go to the emergency room. It was almost like the couple going in to have their baby. We made two trips back to the house (4 miles each) to get id's, POA, etc.
We got to the ER and he was whisked right in...a real change. After 7 hours in the ER, the decision was made to admit him. He hates hospitals, especially when they withhold food and he loses another 10 lbs to have to regain later.
The floor nurse just told us he will just be watched to see if the bleeding will stop by itself. And yes, his food would be held at least tonight. Sigh...he is just sleeping.
The good news is that after the bleeding had reduced to a trickle, he has had less pain, and he has been able to lie on his back which is a wonder...He has not been able to do this since last July.
So....we are sitting here in the hospital, trying to not think about food with the TV ads assulting us and being cheerful to entertain the staff. The positive is the doctor said that the bleeding is probably from the tumor shrinking and leaving blood vessels open. Usually it does resolved itself. Tumor shrinking, dying, going away those all have a wonderful sound. But of course nothing is without a price.
The room this time is wonderful. The window is where he can see out of it. The sun slips in to kiss his face. That is more cheerful than any other room he has ever had. His nurses are sweet and have listened to the history and are working hard to keep his care consistent.
I am glad if we had to come in, that he has been blessed with such good care and attention.
More later...

Unexpected Events and Great News!

Red HOT News!

When they did the blood test on the hero yesterday, it showed that the cancer markers were down to 110. She did not tell us down from what or that 35 is the top of the normal range. However the fact that it is DOWN is fabulous!

The unexpected event was that he had had an episode of nausea and sweats and weakness on the Saturday before, while I was at work. The doctor decided that maybe it was due to one of the drugs so she has delayed the chemo for 3 weeks until he is evaluated by a cardiologist to make sure no challenges have occured due to the chemo.

Now the other event was, as I was sitting at the counter contemplating what adjunct therapy to keep up while we waited, a thought came to my mind that that morning I had given him his full dose of Cellfood instead of breaking it up to two separate doses. That is only 8 drops in 8oz liquid. Usually I do 4 drops twice a day. Cellfood is a nutritive substance developed by Everett Storey to restore the environment and heal the human body. I had started this when I read Dr. Otto Warburg lectures that say cancer cells cannot grow in a high oxygen environment. Knowing that cancer is first a fungus and that fungi are anaerobic (without oxygen), I figured this was a good adjunct treatment for really making the environment unfriendly to the fungi. This is becoming a lecture...sigh...To make the story shorter...I believe he was experiencing Herxheimers Reaction. We have had this before when doing home treatments. Well, we are now taking stock of what we are doing in addition to the chemo and making sure we don't stop while they are "waiting".

One thing I have not shared, is that I have found great studies that point to Fermented Soy as being a help to stop the "wasting disease". It has to be fermented to deliver the greatest amounts of soy isoflavones to assist the cells in using protein to prevent muscle mass reduction.

When we first heard of this, I found a remarkable product called Haelan 981. It is concentrated and research has been done on it specifically. However, it is out of our and many others reach financially. It is $60 a bottle and you take one bottle a day per 50 days then reduce to 4 oz a day. Temph and Miso are okay but not concentrated enough. I did find a Soy yogurt by Stonyfield Farms. It is an excellent substitute since it also has blend of six live active cultures, including the bifous strain. I mix the soy yogurt with Herba-tein to make him a smootie for quick energy in the mornings.

When I was studing plant diseases, the description of fungal development so sounds like the formation of cancer. Mycelium is the vegetative part of a fungus, consisting of a mass of branching, thread-like hyphae. The mass of hyphae is sometimes called shiro, especially within the fairy ring fungi. Fungal colonies composed of mycelia are found in soil and on or in many other substrates. Mycelium may form fruiting bodies such as mushrooms. A mycelium may be minute, forming a colony that is too small to see, or it may be extensive: It is through the mycelium that a fungus absorbs nutrients from its environment. It does this in a two stage process. Firstly, the hyphae secrete enzymes onto the food source, which breaks down polymers into monomers. These monomers are then absorbed into the mycelium by facilitated diffusion and active transport.

You can see that the fungi' intent is to absorb you. There is no such thing as a friendly fungus in the human body.

This is a visual of the mycelium. http://www.fungusfocus.com/

With the Lord's help, we will prevail and maybe teach the medical community some new principles. I hope.

My Best Method Of Relaxing

Before the nursery was moved, I would walk out on the patio and sit and look out over the plants. There I would sit, listening to the birds, watching the butterflies, and feeling the breezes move through my hair. Plants give one a feeling of partnership with Heavenly Father. They are a real learning ground for "if you don't nurture it, it will die". Tonight, when we got home from chemotherapy, I went out to the greenhouse to check on the status of my plants after a week of being away. Walking through the pasture, listening to the birds, and rustling of the leaves was very peaceful. It was not hard to pick up the hose and begin watering the thirsty plants. I spent 2 hours watering and picking up blown over shrubs, and smelling the spring blooms. There is much work to be done, but I can feel a sense of relaxation falling over me and peacefulness as I labor to nourish my plants. My hero came down to help, but his back is not strong enough now to enable him to assist. I think for him it is more of a feeling of frustration right now because he can't participate much. My hope is to get him out more in the sunshine. Vitamin D is helpful in the body's immune system. Not to mention there is fun to be had, as well as relaxation while watching the breezes move through the trees as well as the squirrels playing tag. (As long as they stay away from my fruit trees...then they are varmints.) My thoughts flit about a freely as the birds in the tree tops.

It is hard to express my feelings in words how I feel a oneness with my Heavenly Father, when I am out and working with my plants in whatever way they are in need, watering, trimming, fertilizing, or positioning.

My grandchildren have inherited the fun of enjoying the out of doors too. Whether it is blue bonnets in the spring, snowy mountain tops, or going to the petting zoo, they love being outside.

One of the fun times I had with my Idaho maniacs was going cuttings in their bedroom (It was February.). When I left, I left some plants behind....don't know what happened to them??...! Oh! but what fun, (but a mess) it was doing it with them.

I miss them going walking, or gardening with me. Wish they could come and spend a month with me....Oh Yeah!

Chemo Goes ON and So Do WE

I have promised the sisters in our ward that I would share a picture of my hero using the blanket they so lovingly made for him. The pain doctor gave him a magnetic blanket to help with loss of heat which he uses at home, but at chemotherapy it is always this blanket of love and caring that he uses. Our hearts are filled with gratitude for such sweet charity given to us. They provide cushy recliners and television to help fill the six hours we have to sit while the chemo drugs are infused. Last time, two week ago, they added Avastin to the group of drugs infused. These seem to be having a positive affect although the pain did not decrease.
A week ago, we went to the pain doctor who has started acupuncture therapy. She is an awesome person. We were just discussing the positive affect the treatment has had on him. Two days later and frequently since, we have observed him having a belly laugh or two and his energy level has been up. He is still having a hard time facing the man in the mirror because he perceives that he has aged years in appearance. I tell him, NO, he's actually getting younger...which caused another belly laugh when his voice cracked later in conversation.

This is the hero's high five. He wears warm gloves to prevent
shocking himself during the treatment and for four days afterward. He can not eat or touch anything cold and must stay warm during that time. He lives for when the time is up and he can have an ice cream brown cow. Some people look at him a little strange when we are walking into the store, the temperature is 75 to 80 degrees, full sun and he has on his gloves, and jacket. He can't handle the cold around the cold keepers.

Last week he had the fun of having our second oldest with her new baby come work a half day. He was impressed how quiet the baby was and how pleasant he was when playing. How do you like the way he winks to flirt and say "you want to pick me up"...Too cute.

We finally got the pictures of my fourth daughter's son's second birthday. The two shared the wonderful chocolate cake and the joy of being together. It is so fun to be in our room in the evening and hear the pitter patter of little feet running through the house and a knock knock on our door with sweet voice calling out our names. This little boy is a special critter that bringing a swelling of the heart and a big smile when he reaches up those little arms to his grandadE.

God is good.

Next is the result of a couple of hours of fun on the Internet by the hero with his two granddaughters. They are in order of age. First is Venus's and the second is Iris's.

Iris gathering apples in a basket for her granddadE and grandmomE. How thoughtful.

Venus and GranddadE sailing in the ocean. He asked for a picture of a tall ship on the ocean. She obliged. What good would a ship be without passengers. And what fun would a trip be alone?

These drawing were done on a doodle pad while they talked on yahoo im with the hero.

This is a motivating factor to the hero to continue the fight to overcome. He loves his children, and his grandchildren.

We are still praying for a few miracles and blessings to occur. I know it will happen.

The Chemotherapy has begun

This group is the goal. The hero has so missed all these sweet faces including red beard's. The hope is he will get the strength he needs to be able to travel the 1000 plus miles to see them.

I can see that life as we knew it, is on course for change. As the chemo drugs began to infuse into the hero's veins, his face began to flush, his nose turned bright red and cold. One of the main drugs is in the class of mustard drugs classified as biochemical warfare threats. Thank goodness for the blessings of the Lord. If it weren't for faith, there just wouldn't be any vision of a horizon.

The sisters at the ward were so kind as to make him a blanket to cheer and warm him. On this scary day, he was encompassed by that lovingly done blanket. I will post a picture of him with it after I down load it to the computer. I think the hardest thing to fight is the medications. He has great amounts of pain, because the tumor is pressing on his coccyx. Sitting is out. Lying down is side only. Standing is tiring and painful. As a result the doctors keep pushing to take larger amounts of Morphine. It seems that the goal is just to numb the whole patient....then he is happy. NOT. The larger amounts of Morphine causes depression, then they want to give you antidepressants. The answer is always another drug. The pain management physician (she is an angel) has said that she will be board certified for acupuncture in the coming week. That is the hero's goal: to switch from Morphine to acupuncture. She also gave him a special blanket that reflects back your own body heat to help him through the cold challenges of the chemo. It is hard hearing him have obvious nightmares when he dozes off. I just want to hold him closely and make it go away, but of course that is not possible. I do hold him close and whisper sweet nothings in his ear to help him know he is special each morning. It is hard for him to handle my exuberance in the mornings. It has become harder to make him smile. I know he tries, but he has said that he feels so numb from the morphine. The difficultly of focusing in on reading scriptures, praying and reaching out to the Lord really bothers him. I hope he reaches his goal so he can fight better. They wonder why the treatments don't work...well, the patient can't focus well enough to fight for wellness.

I must stop for now. Thanks for listening.

An Eagle done

This was the Eagle Project.

The project was done last April, but due to his father's health condition, the ceremony was postponed. The project was done for a neglected park in the small city we live in. His brother, father, and fellow scouts came out to help him accomplish this goal. He made picnic tables to increase their options for picnics.

The Scout Master explaining the meaning of being an Eagle Scout.

After the ceremony,fun, and food, we took time to pose together.

Below was the fun, a friend who has a TRex Car had given the dad a ride and it was arranged for a fun trip around town for the new Eagle.

The dad approving the mode of transportation.... yeah right he was having a ball himself.

We are proud of our new Eagle and hope he continues forward.

A Future Sweetheart

The granddadE is glad to have his chance at holding a real valentine's day gift. A new granddaughter that is a sweetie.

Of course, the grandmomE had to have her moment. I can't wait til she can follow us around.

Her birth was a wonder. Her mom slept through the majority of the labor and the doctor arrived in time to catch her, no one knew she was crowning because her mom was asleep, and the nurse was at lunch. When she returned she checked and called for the doctor. It was special watching her emerge into life. The aunts said that was just not right.

Home and Organization

We are at home for a couple of weeks trying to sort out all our mess that was left for us. A basket full of mail, a broken dryer, dry plants, and multiple boxes of storage that needed to be cleaned out. It is a wonder at the amount of paper that can be accumulated in a couple of years.
I am glad that I have been given the throw it away and keep it simple spirit to overcome my tendency to be a pack rat.
There is a more than the usual need to put things in order and be kept in order.
Just talked with the Cancer nurse and they are putting the next round of treatments in order.
Will find out tomorrow or Wednesday where we are going.
Being home and playing with my grandson was a real treat....he is a doll. Terrible twos and all that aside we have fun with GranddadE giving wagon rides....(kills two birds with one stone, the hero gets sunshine and the kiddo gets fun outside of the house.) His mom should be having her little girl any day now.
Later

One New Step and the Completion of Another

Meet my Handsome blue-eyed red headed grandson. He heralded the start of his new life last week after serveral false starts. Because of treatments it was 3 days later that we got to meet him. This was the second grandchild delivery I missed, not a good trend.

In the mean time, we have finished the first radiation treatments, with a big question mark as to if there will be more. Ned is distressed that their only plan had been to reduce the size of the cancer not remove or destroy the offending cancer. It was supposed to help reduce his buttock pain but that has not happened yet, and we are done. Sigh.

We have been approved for have chemotherapy. I say approved because we had to apply for treatment financial aid as the cost of one drug alone is at the $140,000 amount.

He will be receiving AVASTIN®, in combination with intravenous 5-fluorouracil- (this interferes with metabolic machinery in synthesis of nucleic acids) based chemotherapy and Eloxatin (oxaliplatin)[ which first mechanism an alkylating agent attaches alkyl groups to DNA bases. This alteration results in the DNA being fragmented by repair enzymes in their attempts to replace the alkylated bases. Second mechanism by which alkylating agents cause DNA damage is the formation of cross-bridges, bonds between atoms in the DNA. In this process, two bases are linked together by an alkylating agent that has two DNA binding sites. Cross-linking prevents DNA from being separated for synthesis or transcription. The third mechanism of action of alkylating agents causes the mispairing of the nucleotides leading to mutations.

If anyone can explain the alkylated agent in layman terms, I would appreciate it.

I am now really pushing to have the correct alkalizing diet in place since that is the one that has the best effect on colon cancers, and lung cancers.

It was refreshing to visit with the pain management doctor. She knew kenesiology, understood aroma therapy and is certified in accupuncture. I have felt more comfortable with her than anyother doctor. She also did problem solving not just application of a medication for a specfic complaint and also did great teaching using a skeleton and diagrams. Best I have seen so far.

Tomorrow is another two tests, I have to pick up the pickup and trailer to pick up citrus for the spring. I will have to leave my hero alone, but the only place I have to take the test is back at home. The librarians down here have said they don't proctor.

A diller a dollar a 10 o'clock scholar. I must be off to bed.

Nite all

All Things Are Spiritual

Tonight was uplifting to both my sweetie and me even though right now we can't carry a tune in a tin can. We pulled out the hymnal and sang some of our favorite songs together. Words like I know that my redeemer lives, The Lord is my light, so why should I fear, The Lord is my Shepard, no want shall I know, I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me, When faith endures. What comfort those words and music of the hymns offered. We finished singing. My sweetie had me transcribe some emails he had been meaning to send. Then he was ready to relax for the night.

We are facing many challenges, but the blessings of knowing we are not alone is of most comfort. We have made our peace that the future is in the hands of the Lord and we are accepting of whatever lies ahead.

May those who read this be blessed by the spirit of God to feel His love for them too.

Getting to Know You

That is my feeling on Plant ID. I love plants and I love knowing their uses and characteristics. However, the Scientific names feel like a nemesis for me. Thank goodness 46 years ago I had an excellent Latin teacher or I would be up a creek without a paddle. I am enjoying my Interior Plant class. I am not as imaginative as many of the other students, but I love playing around with arrangements and plantings.

Today we went into meet with the Radiation Doctors. The question of itching that started with surgery and is now a red flat rash at odd areas along the back and shoulders came up. Some of the medications could be the cause and possibly shingles. However, it is not burning pain, rather itching to drive you nuts. We applied aloe vera and a blend of essential oils tonight and the redness had dimmed by bedtime. I will ask the Chemotherapy physician if essential oils can be used on his feet or through diffusion in the room while they treat him starting at the end of February. He will be given IV iron X4 to build up the hemoglobin that has been low before the surgery.

Right now we are having some conflict in that I keep feeling like he is not taking an active role in learning about how to help himself and has all but collapsed. Part of it is the fatigue from the radiation and part from low iron levels. The other part is the medications for pain that dull and depress and keep the patient from being active...they say activity and nutrition is most important then give them drugs that depress appetite, activity, and mental alertness. What is this.

Sigh

Will sign off for tonight.

Oh yes...forgot to note a funny I saw today near the seawall. As everyone knows parking on the beach can end up with some not very nice droppings on the car. Well, today, as I was sitting at a red light, I looked up and saw a cloud of seagulls right over 4 cars. A driver of one of the cars had thrown something out of the car on the ground. Instantly the seagulls arrived, covering the sky above the cars. The other drivers were like....Quick! Light CHANGE!...I just smiled.

Preparation

January is the time to prepare our soil, it is a time of preparation, so, we turn our thoughts to learning about what we want to achieve. If it is production large enough to produce enough vegetables or fruit for canning, then we will need to figure out what how much we are wanting to have canned. For a family of 4 in our Texas area, we need 10 to 15 ft row for Beets. Beet root is a good vegetable for fighting cancer.
Lettuce, a row of 10 to 15 ft. long. I like the Baby Mescalin, "Cut and Come Again" variety by Renee's Garden Seeds. The mixture of light and dark leaf lettuces give a better source of vitamins in the salad mix and is a plant you can cut and will grow some more. You would first plant half the row, then two weeks later, the other half. Beans need a 15 ft row. of 30 plants once again planting at two week intervals so you don't have to harvest all at once. A great source of b vitamins. Squash, allow a space of 4-6 ft square, plant 2-3 plants of yellow and zucchini at 2 ft intervals. Great for salads when small and casseroles when larger and relish if gets larger. Tomatoes 10-15 plants of Roma for canning sauces and dicing canning as they are firmer. We like to also have about 3 plants of cherry-type tomato the Juliet is easy to grow as well as the Sweet 100. Celebrity Bush is easier to control and makes a good slicing tomato about 4 plants. Studies show that diets rich in tomatoes appear to give lower risk of certain types of cancer, especially cancers of the prostate, lung, and stomach. The thought is that the lycopene which gives the tomatoes their color is the source of help. A row of radishes about 4 ft to add some zest to the salad.
We have moved our citruses to the south side of the house where they can have a micro-climate area that may protect them enough from the occasional 27 degrees we get. Eating the citrus with the albedo and pulp give a measure of cancer fighting help against colon cancer. This is interesting reading. http://carcin.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/reprint/bgi318v1.pdf We decided we wanted organic citrus without the cost.
We are adding a few blackberry and blueberry bushes to our sunny fence area. I discovered a study done by Monica Giusti, an assistant professor of food science at Ohio State University, and her associate researchers which discovered from laboratory experiments on rats and on human colon cancer cells that the chemicals that give color to most red, purple and blue fruits and vegetables appreciably slow the growth of colon cancer cells. Well, we must work on making a change in our diet.
I am at the hospital with my sweetie. He just spent 5 days since surgery on an Auschwitz diet. How could a registered dietitian give red colored jello to a patient they are watching for blood. Give him salty greasy broth and a ton of apple juice. The colostomy will change his dietary habits but I have found a great deal of information on the subject that will allow me some leave way in his incorporating healthy nutrition to prevent the worst side effect of the cancer which is malnutrition and loss of skeletal muscle. Now that the surgery which blind sided him is through, we can work on on our adjunct therapy to prevent the chemo and radiation from doing him in.
I say blind sided because he agreed to the surgery based on the information that they would surgically removed the cancer after the radiation and chemotherapy shrank the cancer. Now they are telling him that that will not happen and have told him they are buying him 2 months to 2 years of life. He is not really happy with their morbid predictions and I feel that it is not conducive to cultivating a fighting spirit in a patient to do that to them. Worst scenarios are not psychologically building to those in pain. My belief is and has been, that only the Lord knows the appointed time and you do all you can to treat your body like a temple and let him do the rest.
I know that the year spent fighting to get our daughter free from her addictions and restoring her son to her took a great toll on his health...now we must continue to overcome and he will be healed if the Lord so wills it.

New Year "looking for improvements where ever I can find them"

My sweet grandson found the seed catalog and decided it was time to plan for the spring garden.

It is hard to do so when I see my hero appear to be withering away.

I was upset with the health care system, but my posts seem to be being blocked so maybe I need to wait a bit before sharing my thoughts on that.

I am starting my Interior Plant course...it seems to be interesting.

More at a later time.

Excitement, Oh Yeah!

Three something goods have happened in the last two days.

(My toothy critter expresses joy so well to me)

1. I have a 3.0 average in my classes.

2. My son has a 4.0. I told him that that was just wrong....lol....

3. We have restarted the process to get my sweetie into the medical system. They had dropped his information.

Things are looking good. One thing I have not mentioned is the leaning toward natural eating and fiber and some herbs when people talk about cancer. These are great methods of prevention and building up the immune systems, but are useless in treating the masses once they are there. One has to research the methods that have worked, but are not accepted by the regular medical society, because it was not patentable, or it was not a controlable method, or approved protocol by the drug companies. At present,we are working with Colloidal Silver and Graviola orally with fewer baking soda enemas. Since one of the cancer masses appears to be in the perianal tissue, methods that reach beyond contact were needed. He says that within minutes of taking the solutions that he feels "alligators in his rectum". The most worrisome result is the bleeding and expelling of the cancer parts as the tumors deteriorate. One does not have a way to see the results of the treatments inside at home, and doctors can not assist because the AMA and drug companies would ruin their credibility and take away their practice. Sorry about being so graphic. We have wondered what other people have felt and gone through, so we decided to just share how it is. I was reading about perianal cancer and it appears that most of the cases are in hair glands in that area especially tissue that would be from misplaced tissue that did not migrate to the right place when the embryo was forming. Interesting.

Nearing the end of the semester

Excitement.

I finished my arboriculture class....Made a B!

Angels were watching out over me.

Now the challenge: I still have the soil class to go.

My sweetie and I are still in a holding pattern doing the kitchen treatments waiting on the medical community for the "come on down".

I was just finished giving him a treatment when I accidently smashed his finger...Ouch! says he, I said well.....I took your mind off the other hurt.... With a painful grin he said ...if you weren't so funny I would have to hurt you....; )

He is my sweetie.

He has been experiencing herxheimer's syndrome with a large die off of cancer cells. We were blessed with a reminder from a wonderful homeschooler's blog that we were forgetting the need for increased water consumption.

Now I must get back to my studies...needed a break.
The Christmas tree is lit up no ornaments just lights. It will have to wait for the tests to be over. It is comforting to have it there just like it is comforting to have knowledge that our Savior was born, and lives, and loves us bunches.

Beauty is all around

We have been in the hospital for the last three days. My hero began hemorrhaging on Wednesday night and we had to go to the emergency room. They chose to give him blood. His hemoglobin was 9 which was marginal. Three days later and 4 units of blood later they are releasing him to go apply at the State Hospital for conventional cancer treatments. They basically held their hand up and said "Talk to the hand" don't want to hear anything about it, when we tried to explain the treatment we were trying to do.

We are praying about the situtation and are trying to make wise choices. In the mean time, looking out our window, it is peaceful watching the wind rustle through the trees, and the fluffy white clouds saunter past in a beautiful azure sky.

We have enjoyed talking with our children and feeling the love and care emanating from them.

The high light of the hero's day was playing ball at his bedside with his eighteen month old grandson and talking with his out of town grandchildren on the phone. One of his greatest pains is being unable to make the trip to spend time with them.

Grandchildren are a delightful part of life,and makes enduring worth it.

Friends are also a special part of our life. There have been past bishops, home teachers, stake presidency, and huging friends come by. We had a couple come by just to help us by witnessing Medical Attorney Power of Attorney forms. For them to drive 40 minutes to do that for us is really an act of love.

I have to change gears now and take care of matters at hand. I need to really focus on my class work. We nearing the end of the class and all projects are coming due and it is hard to work on projects and provide care in the hospital. The hospitals are short handed and when there is help they are not patient care oriented.