And Here is the Lady of the Hour!

My hero and I had the priviledge of attending a ceremony of his mother being given the "Resident of the Month" award at her assisted living home. If you watched her loving on the staff and her fellow residents you would understand just how much she deserved the award. She is beautiful!

The ONLY good Deer is venison in the Freezer!

Sure I have worked with countless customers to rescue their yards from deer. I have assisted and put my arms around distraught customers who had lost all their new plants. I have never had a deer on my 7 acres. BUT I have always had a dog. We lost our last blue heeler in the spring and did not replace it because we were gone so much to the hospital. NOW the deer have discovered, we do not have a big dog and guess what!
The hero came in saying our cucumbers were being eaten by bugs and looked like the sprinkler was not reaching it. I thought, "my ankle hurts and is swollen, I am tired, I will wait until the morning to go look..." He persisted. When I got out to the garage, he had gotten out the golf cart so I wouldn't have to walk with the crutches as far.
Upon my arrival, my first thought was "did the adolescent son play too close with his sword and whack my cucumbers?...." Then as I traversed the center of the raised beds, I detected the odor of hoofed animals. Since we frequently have horses loose in the area, my first thought was the neighbor's horses got loose again. Then I got to the lemon cucumbers and pole beans...whacked off too and little hoof prints up in the raised bed....DEER!@!
My thoughts are not of sweet Bambi...(maybe in a zoo or on the top of a mountain), but of venison in the freezer. From my experience, I already know the dream of wonderful fresh vegetables I had planned for my hero are waning quickly. I want a BIG dog!!!!

Moving Ahead

A bougainvillea plant grows its branches terminating into a ball of beautiful color. The flowers are commonly called "Paper Flowers". The blossoms last for a long time.
This reminds me of our life right now. The only way to get a bougainvillea to bloom is to stress it out. You minimize the watering, fertilizing, and give it lots of sunshine.
The hero has decided to stop Chemotherapy. The doctors decided that the medications being used were not effective so they chose to stop those and start a new kind. The literature on the drugs revealed they are experimental from Canada, and if you don't have a horrible rash especially on the face that the drug is not working. The longest the extension of life it offers is 7 months. The hero decided that he didn't want to spend the last months of his life, if that is the Lord's choice, in misery and pain. So we are putting our hands in the Lord's hand and letting him guide us. We had a friend that the doctor's told her she would only live 6 months if she didn't do a specific therapy. She chose against it and over 6 years later she was still going. Only the Lord knows our time.

Oh My! We Can Learn New Everyday.

I knew that we could learn new everyday, but I thought I had figured out my blog. Lo and Behold you can click on the pictures and make them bigger. Well, third daughter, you can click on the garden pictures and it will take you home for a minute.

Kids, look at that Fig Tree behind dad ...wow it is huge this year and full of figs. The tomatoes are full of blooms...We hope to get some shade cloth up to facilitate the plants to keep producing even when we hit hot July.

Those of you in apartments or small backyards or the desire to not weed. This is a stackable vertical garden I have at the entrance to my store. There are other pictures on the store website. Idaho...California you need this.

Love

the Hummer better known as MOMe

Father's Day was great!

The hero had an awesome day. We made it to church in a timely manner....which is in itself a wonder.... He received a phone call from each of his six children, AND he got to talk to all of his grandchildren. Our son and his wife sent him a funny card as well as calling and singing Happy Father's Day to the tune of Happy Birthday. He enjoyed that and the giggle it gave him. The Idahoian family called and each on of the eight talked with him (One is in California helping her aunt). Then the Californian family called and he got to talk to all 3 plus 1 of them. The fourth daughter called and let him talk with her two children. The boy at home waited up for us so he could visit after we got home. We went out to eat with little miss sunshine and her family. It was all good. We are grateful to our Heavenly Father for the many blessing we have at His hand.

Later, we picked up the hero's mom and took her to visit her husband's grave. She had not been there for a while and his birthday had been a week before. She was glad to have made it. We then met with little miss sunshine, along with her hubby and J.T. Great-mother wanted to go to Appleby's Restaurant, so there we went. It was a wonderful time, spent with great love and laughter. The ride home didn't make him so tired, since he was floating on a cloud of happiness.

Just a Simple Update

These are the times that make great memories, Bryan helping, pausing for a smile.

I know that I have not posted in some time. One of the challenges in this business of fighting cancer is finding time to do anything besides being focused on overcoming the illness.

Not long after my last post, I twisted my ankle in a hole at work. It was just a silly sprain. I felt I was being careful with it, but every time I would walk to the back of the property or walk over the rocks at work, I would twist it again. After 3 weeks, it began to swell up 3 times its size and became exceeding hard for me to walk. Ned finally insisted on me using a crutch. That helped, but the knee of my other leg was weak, and soon began to protest, if I put too much weight (my plague right now) on it. A wonderful friend loaned me a stabilizing boot, which has helped support and minimize the swelling. The doctor said it will take a while to heal.

There is a hero story here. I have been blessed by my hero in many ways. He can't sit, so he has taken over the dishes because my foot swells after standing very long. He goes into the stores while I wait, unless he finds a riding cart, then he comes and gets me to go with him. He waters the garden and watches over the plants to try and keep me from walking on uneven ground. My cutie grandson loves to go out to help him if he is at home. The hero is just a chivalrous kind of guy. He holds my hand to steady me...now that is a picture...Him with a cane holding my hand to help me not stumble....funny...we usually have a good laugh at ourselves when we are out shopping or going to the doctors. Our most fun is to challenge each other to a foot race.

The Spice in My Life

Just as each of the herbs on my herb table has its own wonderful characteristic, so it is the same with each of my six children and those who have become close enough to be counted among my children. The enjoyable thing about herbs and spices is that when you mix them the flavor is greatly enhanced.

As you can tell, I love all my children and the joy they have brought into my life has been immeasurable. I am greatful for the blessing of being a mother and being in partnership with my husband and Heavenly Father to raise them to the point of right choices on their own. There may be a better way to say it, but maybe later. Happy Mother's Day!

Its All Good

Spring has brought many new experiences and some old ones too.

As is always the case, at the end of a semester, grades are posted. WELL...I have managed to hold my B average for my Master's. My hero was excited because he had spent hours drilling me on my botanical names of my plant Id exams. He is so special.

He started his 5th Chemotherapy session today. So far so good. We came back to the hotel very tired, because it took from 7:30am to 3:30pm. (Forgot, since we are 3 hours from home, they let us stay in a hotel for the three days of treatment for a large reduction). Tomorrow, we will go walking outside to give him some natural Vit D. His weight has held it's own, no losses for now. When we get home we will update the blog.

High Five and Yeah!

The new doctor brought in the lab values for the cancer marker today and showed us how they had followed normal fluctuations the went down. The reading the day we put off chemo for two weeks was 58. Down from 110 which, as was predicted from experience of the doctors, had risen to 258 then went back to 110 now to 58. We feel good. Of course normal is <2.5, so we have a ways to go, but we are excited that it is going down.
We were saddened by the fact the faculty doctor we had is moving away to another hospital. She was awesome. As a matter of fact, we will have totally new staff beginning in June. The Lord has something in mind.
I am extremely excited about my garden...I did tell you that we put in 2 4X40ft raised beds didn't I? Actually it was not us but a very special friend from church who brought over three of his workers and built and filled the beds. This weekend we put in med size tomatoes, pear tomatoes, salsa tomatoes, eggplants, squash (1), and cucumbers (2). I planted some lettuce and carrots. Then we put in 18 bell pepper plants 6 bunches of onions (bunching onions) and one Sweet Basil and one Pesto Basil plant. Next week, we plan to put in some more squash and cucumbers as well as putting in some cantaloupe and watermelon seeds. All of the plants/seeds are heirloom seeds. We plan on saving some of the seeds this year for next year. Will post pictures next time.

Back Home Again

Living in the country has its blessings. After being in the city and supressed by the hospital for 5 days, just being among the trees and wildflowers brings a feeling of peace. My poor hero, as he was dressing to leave today said, "I don't know what it is, everytime I leave this hospital I feel like I am breaking out of prison." Now, it is not because of the care or food or medical care, but it is because of lack of nature and ability to get outside and enjoy the sun and air.
Our stay entailed receiving 2 units of blood and a large amount of IV iron. There was a brief moment in time that he actually got to sit flat on his bottom and eat his dinner. This was about 8 hours after he had the large amount of bleeding. He didn't have any pain, which was so wonderful after 1 year of intense pain. Unfortunately, it did not last. The ride home was painful.
He was ready to lie down and rest when we arrived.
I have enjoyed sitting here and visiting with my son who just finished running 6 miles in an hour for his Duty to God Award. He will be 19 in 5 days. Next will be spiritual preparation. There has not been enough time to relax and listen lately.
The Hero will be (oops) have his birthday in 2 days. Hmmm. What kind of celebration will I have. At the end of the month, our oldest son will come home with his wife and we will all go to Indiana Jones Movie.

One Step Forward Two Steps Back

We were so excited about the decrease in the cancer markers, that we forgot what the side effects might be. At 4:30am, I was awakened by Ned saying "I'm bleeding!" He had gotten up to go to the bathroom when the blood started. We hoped it would stop but after 2 hours we decided that we had better go to the emergency room. It was almost like the couple going in to have their baby. We made two trips back to the house (4 miles each) to get id's, POA, etc.
We got to the ER and he was whisked right in...a real change. After 7 hours in the ER, the decision was made to admit him. He hates hospitals, especially when they withhold food and he loses another 10 lbs to have to regain later.
The floor nurse just told us he will just be watched to see if the bleeding will stop by itself. And yes, his food would be held at least tonight. Sigh...he is just sleeping.
The good news is that after the bleeding had reduced to a trickle, he has had less pain, and he has been able to lie on his back which is a wonder...He has not been able to do this since last July.
So....we are sitting here in the hospital, trying to not think about food with the TV ads assulting us and being cheerful to entertain the staff. The positive is the doctor said that the bleeding is probably from the tumor shrinking and leaving blood vessels open. Usually it does resolved itself. Tumor shrinking, dying, going away those all have a wonderful sound. But of course nothing is without a price.
The room this time is wonderful. The window is where he can see out of it. The sun slips in to kiss his face. That is more cheerful than any other room he has ever had. His nurses are sweet and have listened to the history and are working hard to keep his care consistent.
I am glad if we had to come in, that he has been blessed with such good care and attention.
More later...

Unexpected Events and Great News!

Red HOT News!

When they did the blood test on the hero yesterday, it showed that the cancer markers were down to 110. She did not tell us down from what or that 35 is the top of the normal range. However the fact that it is DOWN is fabulous!

The unexpected event was that he had had an episode of nausea and sweats and weakness on the Saturday before, while I was at work. The doctor decided that maybe it was due to one of the drugs so she has delayed the chemo for 3 weeks until he is evaluated by a cardiologist to make sure no challenges have occured due to the chemo.

Now the other event was, as I was sitting at the counter contemplating what adjunct therapy to keep up while we waited, a thought came to my mind that that morning I had given him his full dose of Cellfood instead of breaking it up to two separate doses. That is only 8 drops in 8oz liquid. Usually I do 4 drops twice a day. Cellfood is a nutritive substance developed by Everett Storey to restore the environment and heal the human body. I had started this when I read Dr. Otto Warburg lectures that say cancer cells cannot grow in a high oxygen environment. Knowing that cancer is first a fungus and that fungi are anaerobic (without oxygen), I figured this was a good adjunct treatment for really making the environment unfriendly to the fungi. This is becoming a lecture...sigh...To make the story shorter...I believe he was experiencing Herxheimers Reaction. We have had this before when doing home treatments. Well, we are now taking stock of what we are doing in addition to the chemo and making sure we don't stop while they are "waiting".

One thing I have not shared, is that I have found great studies that point to Fermented Soy as being a help to stop the "wasting disease". It has to be fermented to deliver the greatest amounts of soy isoflavones to assist the cells in using protein to prevent muscle mass reduction.

When we first heard of this, I found a remarkable product called Haelan 981. It is concentrated and research has been done on it specifically. However, it is out of our and many others reach financially. It is $60 a bottle and you take one bottle a day per 50 days then reduce to 4 oz a day. Temph and Miso are okay but not concentrated enough. I did find a Soy yogurt by Stonyfield Farms. It is an excellent substitute since it also has blend of six live active cultures, including the bifous strain. I mix the soy yogurt with Herba-tein to make him a smootie for quick energy in the mornings.

When I was studing plant diseases, the description of fungal development so sounds like the formation of cancer. Mycelium is the vegetative part of a fungus, consisting of a mass of branching, thread-like hyphae. The mass of hyphae is sometimes called shiro, especially within the fairy ring fungi. Fungal colonies composed of mycelia are found in soil and on or in many other substrates. Mycelium may form fruiting bodies such as mushrooms. A mycelium may be minute, forming a colony that is too small to see, or it may be extensive: It is through the mycelium that a fungus absorbs nutrients from its environment. It does this in a two stage process. Firstly, the hyphae secrete enzymes onto the food source, which breaks down polymers into monomers. These monomers are then absorbed into the mycelium by facilitated diffusion and active transport.

You can see that the fungi' intent is to absorb you. There is no such thing as a friendly fungus in the human body.

This is a visual of the mycelium. http://www.fungusfocus.com/

With the Lord's help, we will prevail and maybe teach the medical community some new principles. I hope.

My Best Method Of Relaxing

Before the nursery was moved, I would walk out on the patio and sit and look out over the plants. There I would sit, listening to the birds, watching the butterflies, and feeling the breezes move through my hair. Plants give one a feeling of partnership with Heavenly Father. They are a real learning ground for "if you don't nurture it, it will die". Tonight, when we got home from chemotherapy, I went out to the greenhouse to check on the status of my plants after a week of being away. Walking through the pasture, listening to the birds, and rustling of the leaves was very peaceful. It was not hard to pick up the hose and begin watering the thirsty plants. I spent 2 hours watering and picking up blown over shrubs, and smelling the spring blooms. There is much work to be done, but I can feel a sense of relaxation falling over me and peacefulness as I labor to nourish my plants. My hero came down to help, but his back is not strong enough now to enable him to assist. I think for him it is more of a feeling of frustration right now because he can't participate much. My hope is to get him out more in the sunshine. Vitamin D is helpful in the body's immune system. Not to mention there is fun to be had, as well as relaxation while watching the breezes move through the trees as well as the squirrels playing tag. (As long as they stay away from my fruit trees...then they are varmints.) My thoughts flit about a freely as the birds in the tree tops.

It is hard to express my feelings in words how I feel a oneness with my Heavenly Father, when I am out and working with my plants in whatever way they are in need, watering, trimming, fertilizing, or positioning.

My grandchildren have inherited the fun of enjoying the out of doors too. Whether it is blue bonnets in the spring, snowy mountain tops, or going to the petting zoo, they love being outside.

One of the fun times I had with my Idaho maniacs was going cuttings in their bedroom (It was February.). When I left, I left some plants behind....don't know what happened to them??...! Oh! but what fun, (but a mess) it was doing it with them.

I miss them going walking, or gardening with me. Wish they could come and spend a month with me....Oh Yeah!

Chemo Goes ON and So Do WE

I have promised the sisters in our ward that I would share a picture of my hero using the blanket they so lovingly made for him. The pain doctor gave him a magnetic blanket to help with loss of heat which he uses at home, but at chemotherapy it is always this blanket of love and caring that he uses. Our hearts are filled with gratitude for such sweet charity given to us. They provide cushy recliners and television to help fill the six hours we have to sit while the chemo drugs are infused. Last time, two week ago, they added Avastin to the group of drugs infused. These seem to be having a positive affect although the pain did not decrease.
A week ago, we went to the pain doctor who has started acupuncture therapy. She is an awesome person. We were just discussing the positive affect the treatment has had on him. Two days later and frequently since, we have observed him having a belly laugh or two and his energy level has been up. He is still having a hard time facing the man in the mirror because he perceives that he has aged years in appearance. I tell him, NO, he's actually getting younger...which caused another belly laugh when his voice cracked later in conversation.

This is the hero's high five. He wears warm gloves to prevent
shocking himself during the treatment and for four days afterward. He can not eat or touch anything cold and must stay warm during that time. He lives for when the time is up and he can have an ice cream brown cow. Some people look at him a little strange when we are walking into the store, the temperature is 75 to 80 degrees, full sun and he has on his gloves, and jacket. He can't handle the cold around the cold keepers.

Last week he had the fun of having our second oldest with her new baby come work a half day. He was impressed how quiet the baby was and how pleasant he was when playing. How do you like the way he winks to flirt and say "you want to pick me up"...Too cute.

We finally got the pictures of my fourth daughter's son's second birthday. The two shared the wonderful chocolate cake and the joy of being together. It is so fun to be in our room in the evening and hear the pitter patter of little feet running through the house and a knock knock on our door with sweet voice calling out our names. This little boy is a special critter that bringing a swelling of the heart and a big smile when he reaches up those little arms to his grandadE.

God is good.

Next is the result of a couple of hours of fun on the Internet by the hero with his two granddaughters. They are in order of age. First is Venus's and the second is Iris's.

Iris gathering apples in a basket for her granddadE and grandmomE. How thoughtful.

Venus and GranddadE sailing in the ocean. He asked for a picture of a tall ship on the ocean. She obliged. What good would a ship be without passengers. And what fun would a trip be alone?

These drawing were done on a doodle pad while they talked on yahoo im with the hero.

This is a motivating factor to the hero to continue the fight to overcome. He loves his children, and his grandchildren.

We are still praying for a few miracles and blessings to occur. I know it will happen.

The Chemotherapy has begun

This group is the goal. The hero has so missed all these sweet faces including red beard's. The hope is he will get the strength he needs to be able to travel the 1000 plus miles to see them.

I can see that life as we knew it, is on course for change. As the chemo drugs began to infuse into the hero's veins, his face began to flush, his nose turned bright red and cold. One of the main drugs is in the class of mustard drugs classified as biochemical warfare threats. Thank goodness for the blessings of the Lord. If it weren't for faith, there just wouldn't be any vision of a horizon.

The sisters at the ward were so kind as to make him a blanket to cheer and warm him. On this scary day, he was encompassed by that lovingly done blanket. I will post a picture of him with it after I down load it to the computer. I think the hardest thing to fight is the medications. He has great amounts of pain, because the tumor is pressing on his coccyx. Sitting is out. Lying down is side only. Standing is tiring and painful. As a result the doctors keep pushing to take larger amounts of Morphine. It seems that the goal is just to numb the whole patient....then he is happy. NOT. The larger amounts of Morphine causes depression, then they want to give you antidepressants. The answer is always another drug. The pain management physician (she is an angel) has said that she will be board certified for acupuncture in the coming week. That is the hero's goal: to switch from Morphine to acupuncture. She also gave him a special blanket that reflects back your own body heat to help him through the cold challenges of the chemo. It is hard hearing him have obvious nightmares when he dozes off. I just want to hold him closely and make it go away, but of course that is not possible. I do hold him close and whisper sweet nothings in his ear to help him know he is special each morning. It is hard for him to handle my exuberance in the mornings. It has become harder to make him smile. I know he tries, but he has said that he feels so numb from the morphine. The difficultly of focusing in on reading scriptures, praying and reaching out to the Lord really bothers him. I hope he reaches his goal so he can fight better. They wonder why the treatments don't work...well, the patient can't focus well enough to fight for wellness.

I must stop for now. Thanks for listening.

An Eagle done

This was the Eagle Project.

The project was done last April, but due to his father's health condition, the ceremony was postponed. The project was done for a neglected park in the small city we live in. His brother, father, and fellow scouts came out to help him accomplish this goal. He made picnic tables to increase their options for picnics.

The Scout Master explaining the meaning of being an Eagle Scout.

After the ceremony,fun, and food, we took time to pose together.

Below was the fun, a friend who has a TRex Car had given the dad a ride and it was arranged for a fun trip around town for the new Eagle.

The dad approving the mode of transportation.... yeah right he was having a ball himself.

We are proud of our new Eagle and hope he continues forward.

A Future Sweetheart

The granddadE is glad to have his chance at holding a real valentine's day gift. A new granddaughter that is a sweetie.

Of course, the grandmomE had to have her moment. I can't wait til she can follow us around.

Her birth was a wonder. Her mom slept through the majority of the labor and the doctor arrived in time to catch her, no one knew she was crowning because her mom was asleep, and the nurse was at lunch. When she returned she checked and called for the doctor. It was special watching her emerge into life. The aunts said that was just not right.

Home and Organization

We are at home for a couple of weeks trying to sort out all our mess that was left for us. A basket full of mail, a broken dryer, dry plants, and multiple boxes of storage that needed to be cleaned out. It is a wonder at the amount of paper that can be accumulated in a couple of years.
I am glad that I have been given the throw it away and keep it simple spirit to overcome my tendency to be a pack rat.
There is a more than the usual need to put things in order and be kept in order.
Just talked with the Cancer nurse and they are putting the next round of treatments in order.
Will find out tomorrow or Wednesday where we are going.
Being home and playing with my grandson was a real treat....he is a doll. Terrible twos and all that aside we have fun with GranddadE giving wagon rides....(kills two birds with one stone, the hero gets sunshine and the kiddo gets fun outside of the house.) His mom should be having her little girl any day now.
Later

One New Step and the Completion of Another

Meet my Handsome blue-eyed red headed grandson. He heralded the start of his new life last week after serveral false starts. Because of treatments it was 3 days later that we got to meet him. This was the second grandchild delivery I missed, not a good trend.

In the mean time, we have finished the first radiation treatments, with a big question mark as to if there will be more. Ned is distressed that their only plan had been to reduce the size of the cancer not remove or destroy the offending cancer. It was supposed to help reduce his buttock pain but that has not happened yet, and we are done. Sigh.

We have been approved for have chemotherapy. I say approved because we had to apply for treatment financial aid as the cost of one drug alone is at the $140,000 amount.

He will be receiving AVASTIN®, in combination with intravenous 5-fluorouracil- (this interferes with metabolic machinery in synthesis of nucleic acids) based chemotherapy and Eloxatin (oxaliplatin)[ which first mechanism an alkylating agent attaches alkyl groups to DNA bases. This alteration results in the DNA being fragmented by repair enzymes in their attempts to replace the alkylated bases. Second mechanism by which alkylating agents cause DNA damage is the formation of cross-bridges, bonds between atoms in the DNA. In this process, two bases are linked together by an alkylating agent that has two DNA binding sites. Cross-linking prevents DNA from being separated for synthesis or transcription. The third mechanism of action of alkylating agents causes the mispairing of the nucleotides leading to mutations.

If anyone can explain the alkylated agent in layman terms, I would appreciate it.

I am now really pushing to have the correct alkalizing diet in place since that is the one that has the best effect on colon cancers, and lung cancers.

It was refreshing to visit with the pain management doctor. She knew kenesiology, understood aroma therapy and is certified in accupuncture. I have felt more comfortable with her than anyother doctor. She also did problem solving not just application of a medication for a specfic complaint and also did great teaching using a skeleton and diagrams. Best I have seen so far.

Tomorrow is another two tests, I have to pick up the pickup and trailer to pick up citrus for the spring. I will have to leave my hero alone, but the only place I have to take the test is back at home. The librarians down here have said they don't proctor.

A diller a dollar a 10 o'clock scholar. I must be off to bed.

Nite all

All Things Are Spiritual

Tonight was uplifting to both my sweetie and me even though right now we can't carry a tune in a tin can. We pulled out the hymnal and sang some of our favorite songs together. Words like I know that my redeemer lives, The Lord is my light, so why should I fear, The Lord is my Shepard, no want shall I know, I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me, When faith endures. What comfort those words and music of the hymns offered. We finished singing. My sweetie had me transcribe some emails he had been meaning to send. Then he was ready to relax for the night.

We are facing many challenges, but the blessings of knowing we are not alone is of most comfort. We have made our peace that the future is in the hands of the Lord and we are accepting of whatever lies ahead.

May those who read this be blessed by the spirit of God to feel His love for them too.